by captain america on 09/08/11 at 11:39 amFEMA Headquarters – (SatireWorld.com)
In a shocking breach of security, reports have leaked out that Obama is prepared to activate his “Doomsday” plan to insure his re election under the guise of a ‘National Emergency” which would threaten the stability of the United States of America!
A source said Obama may be moved to act sooner than expected after the melt down in London where Bands of Brothers and Anarchists have set the city alight. Close staffers are said to be imploring Obama to act saying “…you can’t let this crisis go to waste, and you can’t let Cameron and Clegg to steal your thunder on the destabilization and redistribution of wealth issue…this is the change you’ve promised, it’s time to stoop and DELIVER!”
The plan calls for the immediate mobilization of the US Northern Command, (NORTHCOM) currently staffed with the 3rd Infantry, 1st Brigade Combat Division, and reinforced with
ACORN Commandos that have been organized, trained, armed and indoctrinated in secret urban underground camps since January 2009. Most are said to enjoy ‘playing with matches.”
The ACORN Commandos are said to be committed ideologists, willing to fight only for the promise of new Sneakers, Adidas Track suits, Xbox Games, and unlimited Rapper CD albums.
Andrews Air Force base in Maryland has reportedly been put on lock down amidst heightened security as Air Force I,II, and III have been readied for immediate take off, along with a squadron of C-130 Cargo planes to accommodate a cavalcade of Armored Cadillac Escalades, pallets of MREs (Meals ready to Eat), the first lady’s winter wardrobe, a selection of canned home grown vegetables and the recently commissioned portraits of Obama in Norman Rockwellesque technique shown handing out food stamps, stimulus checks, Iphones, and even pet food to a little boy and his dog.
While no one is talking about the intended destination, or filed a flight plan, Las Vegas odds, posted this morning, are 100-1 that the armada is headed for Brussels, Belgium, on target to be the central location for a New World Order.
The shocking leaks apparently appeared after Democrat National Committee Charwoman (sic) Debbie Wasserman-Schultz tweeted to friends, “Hey…going to be away for awhile on a mission to save the planet! Barry and I getting ready to jump in the foxhole together as he hinted a few weeks ago.
Suggest you all just stay in your houses until the rioting is put down, and it’s safe to come out…should be like Libya…only take a few hours….Luv U, Deb!”
According to inside sources, involved in the plot, this scenario has been building for awhile.
Those in the know say it follows an action plan put together by Political Science activists in a joint study conducted at the University of California, Berkley, and the University of Chicago, and chaired by Robert Ayers of Weatherman infamy, and a host of 60′s radicals who have put in strategic policy making positions.
The last piece of the puzzle was allegedly put in place July 1 when Leon Panetta, former chief of staff to Bill Clinton, was appointed as Secretary of Defense (sic), after serving as head of the CIA where he worked day and night with a clandestine staff to strip the Agency bare of it’s most sensitive secrets and prepare a list of covert agents around the globe to be used as a bargaining chip with rogue nations in exchange for oil and the hopes they would be receptive to importing Chrysler mini vans and thousands of unsold Chevy Volts languishing on Government Motors (GM) lots.
Since Panetta has taken over Defense, there has been a withdrawal of the Military’s Drone forces from overseas hotspots, and they have been clandestinely relocated to little used civilian airfields in Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Idaho.
The remote strips are those that Democrats in Congress involved in the scenario have been desperately trying to save from the Republicans who want to stop the government from subsidizing the little used, out of the way facilities, at up to $3500 per ticket!
Technicians educated at Votech Schools as part of the ‘No Idiot Radical Left Behind’ program, have been sent to the US Air Force Warfare Center located at Nellis Air Force Base in Nellis, Nevada, where they are said to be feverishly reprogramming the drone’s mission coordinates with information supplied by Senator Harry Reid and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.
So far the drones have been reprogrammed to take out ‘strategic’ locations in Alaska, South Carolina, Arizona, Texas, a small Republican enclave hiding out on Cape Cod, MA, the Capitols of New Jersey, Wisconsin, and the Trump Tower Building in NYC.
Reports say that at a round table discussion, it was acknowledged that some innocent deaths may be recorded, but strategist Van Jones was said to have united the members convincing them that ‘some collateral damage is inevitable, and is just the price some rich white folks making $45,000 a year may have to pay so the minority can prosper.”
As part of the plan, redistribution warehouses have been readied in most of the urban areas of the country.
“Liberation” plans are said to be ready , targeting Apple Stores, Wal Mart, The Footlocker, Best Buy, COSCO, Medical Marijuana Clinics, Veterinarian Clinics, Rite Aide, CVS and Walgreens with convoys of trucks ready to remove the ‘spoils’ to the distribution points as soon as the squads of ‘shock troops’ have secured the facilities.
Word must be leaking out, as there are reports that people pushing stolen shopping carts are already lining up outside the currently vacant building in Oakland, Detroit, Philadelphia, Houston, Tampa and downtown Washington, D.C. chanting “Yes We Can!”
Meanwhile, there has been a rash of activity spotted in Belgium, most noticeably in Brussels.
While world wide real estate sales have been dismal for the past 3 years, within the past 8 months properties that have been languishing on the market are now being bought up at a feverish pace.
Leading the sales indexes are vacant office buildings and private chateaus with lavish grounds. Construction is also red hot, with security companies from around the world, and especially Bin Laden from Saudi Arabia, seen moving in constructing blast barriers, barbed wire topped concrete walls around estates, guard towers, and government mandated changes to traffic patterns making most streets one way and commanded by gated check points.
Belgium seems like the most natural place for the Obama Administration to set up shop.
Over 53% of the country’s workers are union members, debt is 97.2% of GDP, and due to a number of dysfunctional parties who can not agree on anything, it’s ripe for an Obama headed New World Order takeover in “Operation Chaos.”
George Soros has been a visitor in recent months, as has former UK PM Gordon Brown, Hugo Chavez has been said to have dropped in to advise on how best to spread his brand of cancer , and the French and Italian trade & tourist ministers have been seen traveling together looking at possible RV sites that could be developed to house “vacationers and migrating sight seers.”
Arianna Huffington and Rebekuh Brooks were seen lunching at an outdoor cafe, both seemingly engrossed in intense conversation, and later were spotted examining a vacant building which used to house a branch of an independent Satire Site which had been shut down in recent months by Government Decree for “inappropriate submissions.”
While most of America seems unaware of the impending action, members of the National Basketball Association (NBA) seemed to have gotten the news ‘from someone in a position to know in the White House.”
With the players involved in a contract dispute and an assured lockout, no one seems concerned.
Reports are that 97.5% of he players are prepared to ink long term contracts with teams in Russia, Croatia, Argentina, Brazil, China, Turkey and Norway and talks of a new international league under the leadership of FIFA strongman and head cheese Sepp Blatter.
Said 7’2″ Sacramento Kings center Jamal El-Mahoud Johnson, “Hey man, change be comin’ and a man’s gotta go what a man’s gotta do to take care of his ownself. This is a chance to travel and experience new cultures and opportunities….and forget about that child support stuff…that’s all behind us….We be Free, Free at last!”
This is Satire Free America Standing By.
Good Night. And May God Help America.