by captain america on 16/08/11 at 7:01 amNew York City, New York – (SatireWorld.com)
The stock market continues to react unfavorably to the recent merger of the Huff&Puff Post, the Spoof.com, and AOL, with the stock continuing to tank due to loss of readers, qualified journalists, lack of leadership, and just plain ‘crap’ marketing!
Down from a 52 week high of $27.65 the stock is hovering at $12, down about 46% since Arianna Huffington raked in $312M from AOL AND assumed overall control of the media
Her subsequent firing of most salaried legitimate journalists, and her penchant for fictional news stories then led her into an acquisition frenzy and the ill advised purchase of The Spoof.com, a reasonably successful satire site with viewers and fans on both sides of the pond.
While the purchase price was reasonable, a wheel of imported danish cheese and an $8,000 road racing titanium bicycle to the owner of the LLC of record, and $5,000 a week whether the editor was there or not vetting stories, the ill fated conglomerate has gone down hill ever since.
The first thing Arianna did was split the popular humor site into a UK and US edition thereby alienating writers on both sides of the pond. The second thing she did was turn the literary direction of the site over to a mysterious and shadowy group of anarchists hell bent on burning the site to the ground in order to rebuild it in their own image.
The ultimate result was that not only did the US site lose readers, but most of it’s top performing writers who were tired of getting picked on for minor infractions such as
unintentional, and occasional typos, but being told what to write, how to write it, and castigated for calling “football” soccer, as is the accepted term in the US to differentiate it from ‘football’ as played in the National Football League (NFL).
“Bloody ‘ell,” said one disgruntled ex writer. “It’s a bloody amateur writing site where one used to have a bit of fun, meet new people, and take the piss onst in awhile…now everyone’s got their knickers in a twist and all we’re left with is burning and looting…what a legacy for Britain….they don’t seem to realize the sun set on their realm ten years ago, but they still want to lord it over everyone else!”
Investors are fleeing the stock in droves, anticipating it will go below $1 and be delisted before filing bankruptcy unless it get’s bailed out by the Obama Administration
as a valuable media spokes network for it’s policies leading up to the 2012 election.
Former disgraced News of the World head editor Rebekuh Brooks when contacted about this story said, “Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but a little bird told me they overheard a conversation just the other day. Seems like negotiations are underway to sell off the lot to a Bolivian Cabal who make a habit of running a company into the ground, then picking it up for pennies on the dollar. My hunch is by January you’ll be able to ‘press 2′ and read all their shit in Spanish!”