by Throckmorton P. Turdblossom on 23/08/11 at 5:23 am
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,
You gotta help me, cuz no one believes me!
I was sitting in my boat, on a pond, doing a little fishing. My secret service agents were around me on the shore, watching to make sure that I was safe and wasn’t attacked. Naturally, they were all facing away from my boat, so they couldn’t see me directly.
An attack rabbit came out of the brush and tried to attack me in my fishing boat. It was big and mean and had vicious teeth and I had to beat it off with a paddle. It reminded me of that killer rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Now, I am the laughing stock of the country. No one believes me and my secret service agents never saw anything to verify my story about the killer bunny. What am I going to do?
President James “Jimmy” Carter Plains, Georgia
I wouldn’t worry about people making fun of you because of the rabbit.
They’ll soon forget all about that and make fun of you because of asking your daughter for advice on nuclear weapons, the whole Iran hostage situation, your Playboy interview, the economy, the number of appointees of yours who go to jail (three times as many of your cabinet members as Nixon’s), your brother, your mother, your teeth. You got a lot bigger problems to worry about than some rabbit who attacked your fishing boat.
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