Earthquake Shakes Washington, DC – Obama Blames The Bush’s Fault Line
by Steely Beast on 23/08/11 at 3:46 pm
Probable cause of the rare Washington DC 6.1 magnitude earthquake is Michelle Obama's large ass, says USGS scientist.
A 6.1 earthquake rattled the nation’s capitol this afternoon with shock waves being felt as far north as New England. No major damages have been reported and injuries were confined to a few heart attacks from some elderly citizens.
First reports say the White House was shaken but not stirred as the major earth movement was reported to be 100 miles south. President Obama issued a statement claiming he and his family are OK, they weren’t in danger, and for people not to worry.
The First family was far away at the time after having spent the last several days vacationing at New England’s Martha’s Vineyard resort. Laughter could be heard as far away as Boston as Tea Party members groaned because the president showed more concern for himself than asking if any citizens were hurt.
Obama later blamed the rare earthquake on past President Bush, claiming the epicenter was located on the Bush’s Fault Line. He also mentioned the earthquake was part of his new, but unreleased, new jobs plan for America.
Others are blaming Michelle Obama’s rather large ass
Frank Landreth
Aug 24th, 2011
It must have been Bush’s fault..It surely wasn’t God’s fault..He hasn’t been in Washington D.C. in years.
ahuh
Aug 24th, 2011
It was an early warning system.
The total wash out of sinful ways will come with Irene.
jen
Aug 24th, 2011
Thumbs up!
Saltwater
Aug 24th, 2011
I love when satire takes the time to explain its own jokes (paragraph 3). Finally, The Onion for idiots! Great work Steely Beast!
Bargis
Aug 24th, 2011
Glad you liked it! If there are any big words you might not understand, drop us a line!