Earthquake Shakes Washington, DC – Obama Blames The Bush’s Fault Line

by on 23/08/11 at 3:46 pm

Probable cause of the rare Washington DC 6.1 magnitude earthquake is Michelle Obama's large ass, says USGS scientist.

Washington, DC – (

A 6.1 earthquake rattled the nation’s capitol this afternoon with shock waves being felt as far north as New England. No major damages have been reported and injuries were confined to a few heart attacks from some elderly citizens.

First reports say the White House was shaken but not stirred as the major earth movement was reported to be 100 miles south. President Obama issued a statement claiming he and his family are OK, they weren’t in danger, and for people not to worry.

The First family was far away at the time after having spent the last several days vacationing at New England’s Martha’s Vineyard resort. Laughter could be heard as far away as Boston as Tea Party members groaned because the president showed more concern for himself than asking if any citizens were hurt.

Obama later blamed the rare earthquake on past President Bush, claiming the epicenter was located on the Bush’s Fault Line. He also mentioned the earthquake was part of his new, but unreleased, new jobs plan for America.

Others are blaming Michelle Obama’s rather large ass for the cause of the event, stating as she plopped down real hard on the beach, it caused a mini-tsunami which wiped out Nantucket Island and sent reverberations down the east coastline.

4 Responses to “Earthquake Shakes Washington, DC – Obama Blames The Bush’s Fault Line”

  1. Frank Landreth

    Aug 24th, 2011

    It must have been Bush’s fault..It surely wasn’t God’s fault..He hasn’t been in Washington D.C. in years.

  2. Saltwater

    Aug 24th, 2011

    I love when satire takes the time to explain its own jokes (paragraph 3). Finally, The Onion for idiots! Great work Steely Beast!

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