by captain america on 08/09/11 at 11:09 amWashington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Concerned that no one would tune in for his Thursday night campaign speech before a less than filled, or thrilled audience at a joint session of Congress, President Obama demanded that the NFL preempt their usual Thursday night rousing musical lead in with a new Democratic fight song.
While the NFL initially refused the President’s demand, after threats from Attorney General Eric Holder to reopen Anti-Trust hearings and require a drug test from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell the league relented.
Selected members of the press were invited to preview and critique the Presidents efforts at becoming a regular feature on Thursday and Monday Night Football, although any negative comments would be redacted before being released to the public.
The song was introduced in the midst of canned applause, hooting and hollering and a raucous display by some bodacious cheerleaders dressed in revealing bodices and short
Skirts designed to show off their booty and Pom Poms as they gyrated in the Press Room to shocked journalists with Press Secretary Jay Corny (sic) shouting, “are you ready to shuck and jive…. let’s get in on with “BH” number double zero in your program, but number 1 in your hearts!”
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME SMASH MOUTH?
2012 is comin’ soon, time to get your game face on
no time to waste with barbarians at the gate
That SOB preachin restraint be nothin’ but a moron
Time to make some haste ‘n ratchet up that hate
Can’t let no crisis go to waste; gotta score when the time is ripe
Don’t bother listening to the other side, it all be nothing but honky hype
Got to hit the polls running and overwhelm the other side
Make no diff if you be dead or alive
Everyone’s vote will not be equal
This ain’t gonna be no Al Gore sequel
Get down in that 3 point stance ready to rumble
Take no prisoners in this ACORN jungle
Civility is just a ploy to lull the crowd
Kick some ass and make me proud
All you brothers get set to rock and roll
Crank up your rides for some drive bys ‘n take a toll
Take no mind of American Justice
We got Eric Holder’s gun control takin’ up the slack
With him in charge they can’t shoot back
Elect me again, and this I pledge
Be no restraint of Columbian trade or loss of welfare checks
Make no diff if you be black or brown
Gonna’ turn this country upside down
Make no never mind where yo from
Term ‘Illegal’ is a travesty
Vote for me and I give you amnesty
We all be brothers under the skin
I got 50 relatives living high on welfare I call kin
Sing out now, and say it loud
Obama’s your man and you be proud
Barack Obama, Hmmmm, Hmmmm, Hmmm!
Arianna Huffington approved this report. Other reviews were totally blacked out, no pun intended.