Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama Request Barack and Stedman Graham To Appear With Them On Jerry Springer Show
by Jalapenoman on 09/09/11 at 1:46 pmChicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)
Oprah Winfrey, the woman who bought the presidential election for Barack Obama in 2008, has announced that she will appear with First Lady Michelle Obama on The Jerry Springer Show. She and Michelle have requested that Barack Obama and Stedman Graham (Oprah’s boyfriend and fiance for over twenty years) appear with them.
Considering that most people who appear on the Jerry Springer Show are there to confess a love affair or romance to their mate/spouse, rumors are running wild in Chicago and Washington D.C. about the upcoming revelations from Oprah and Michelle.
One Springer Show producer, speaking on conditions of anonymity, said that “we’ve all heard the rumors for years that Oprah is a rug muncher. There must be some reason that a carpet critter like that would come on with Michelle Obama. Did she help get Barack elected just so she could get her girlfriend into the Oval Office? I’d say it was a Bush League move, and I wouldn’t be referring to Dubya!”
Stedman Graham, Oprah’s long time love interest, had nothing intelligent to say on the subject. The figurehead boyfriend, who is paid a salary just to be arm candy for Oprah, is contactually obligated not to speak on these matters and says that “Oprah don’t want me talking about them female hookers who come visiting her at night, so I ain’t sayin’ nothin”.”
It is also rumored that Oprah Winfrey has a team of consitutional lawyers looking at legal precedence and the wording of official United States documents. An aide to one attorney said that “Oprah is trying to find a way for Michelle to divorce Barack, allowing Michelle to remain as First Lady. Then, when Oprah and Michelle marry, since Michelle is still the First Lady, Oprah would become President.”
Producers at the Jerry Springer Show admit that Barack Obama has requested teleprompters be placed there for him and that his lines to be read include “Michelle, you’re just a skanky ho!” They will not confirm if he has also had his attacks, slaps, hits, or being held back by Jerry’s staff scripted onto the teleprompters.
There is no word on which of the Obamas will get to keep ACORN, first dog Bo, or Joe Biden in the potential divorce.