Hog Jaw’s Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company Files For Bankruptcy. CEO Blames Product Name And Logo As ‘Poor Choice’
by Bargis Tryhol on 19/09/11 at 7:28 amSpecial Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner
Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com)
The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Merriweather’s since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational industry.
The HCBC was Hog Jaw’s second largest employer after the Arkansas State Prison out on RR 26. HCBC often purchased wood products hewn by state prisoners on work furloughs in and around Hog Jaw.
CEO Lloyd Merriweather made the announcement as workers gathered to pick up their last paycheck. Citing a massive failure of its two year old advertising plan in which five million dollars were spent, resulting in not a single bag of the charcoal briquettes sold, Merriweather gladly shook hands with all of his workers and briefly chuckled as several staffers dropped their paychecks to see if they’d bounce.
“Our marketing executives claimed the target market of Japan was perhaps not the best choice after all,” said Lloyd Merriweather during a recent channel 7 interview with reporter Lois Hanes.
Merriweather went on to explain that Asia and Japan were chosen primarily because of Asia’s high fuel costs to cook family meals and the difficulty of storing flammable liquid products in densely populated areas.
Many thought the company’s highly touted logo probably sunk his product as well. On each bag face was printed with a large mushroom cloud and a fly-over photo of the Enola Gay B-29 bomber with smiling crew members waving from every available window on the bomber. It was the Enola Gay that was responsible for dropping the world’s first atomic device on Japan in 1945.
Merriweather recently was involved in another failed venture when his development company lost $13 million dollars on a condominium community in rural Hog Jaw. The Condos on Shits Creek failed in early 2010 when only one unit was sold to a ditzy British actress who later demanded her money back.
Company spokesman Bill ‘Shorty’ Hastings said his boss Lloyd Merriweather would recover financially and spoke about his latest business venture, the Merriweather Detective Agency.
“Started after a grueling two-week mail order course, Lloyd is happy to report that he is now Hog Jaw’s first and only private eye,” claimed a smiling ‘Shorty’ Hastings. He also added that once the bank took over the charcoal briquette plant, he’d be joining forces with Merriweather as his assistant.
“Stop on in at our office for a cup of coffee, a donut, and a free brochure. It’s in four color too!”