Florida To Reinstate Dwarf Tossing Sport

by on 06/10/11 at 4:45 pm

Diminitive Ed 'Peewee' Smathers can't wait to be legally tossed once again, "For years I had to hide in back alleys and seedy private clubs, hopefully I can get my tossing in legally again."

Tallahassee, Florida – (SatireWorld.com)

Ritch Workman, a Florida legislator, has begun the process of un-banning the bar room sport of dwarf tossing and midget throwing citing ‘the little guys need the work!’ Banned since 1989, Dwarf Tossing is one of a 1,000 laws the current legislature is seeking to overturn citing damages to the economy.

Workman is seeking support in his efforts to repeal a longstanding ban on “dwarf-tossing”…a bar fad in which individuals of small stature are thrown around for entertainment purposes. According to Workman’s website, “All we really did by passing that law was take away some employment from some little people.”

The state ban goes all the way back to 1989 prohibiting businesses from “undertaking or permitting any contest or promotion or other form of recreational activity involving exploitation endangering the health, safety, and welfare of any person with dwarfism.”

The proposed re-legalization of the ‘sport’ has ushered in protests from foreign leaders, most notably France’s President,Nicolas Sarkozy, who has admitted in the past his difficulties with being ‘height challenged.’

The National Association of Little People spokesman Henry ‘Pipsqueak’ Fife held a press conference in which he expressed he wasn’t happy. A rather bright reporter immediately asked back, “Which of the 7 dwarfs are you then?”

People of short stature have been in the news lately with reports of discrimination and height challenging barriers in sports, public accommodations and lately footwear difficulties. One small sized individual, who asked not to be named, recalls his footwear problems well. According to the man and his wife, the man went to a doctor complaining about excruciating pain in his balls. The doctor looked him over, pulled out a huge set of scissors. The man was fearful and told the physician, “you ain’t cutting my balls off!” Of which the doctor replied. “no, I’m cutting the tops off your new boots.”



One Response to “Florida To Reinstate Dwarf Tossing Sport”

  1. captain america

    Oct 6th, 2011

    …is this as embarrassing as badminton where a ‘shuttlecock’ is batted about on Facebook??

    …home they take on Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s “FL Swiming Pool Act ” and amend it to insure she takes a shower, and WEARS A SHOWER CAP BEFORE JUMPING IN THE SHALLOW END…!

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