by Mr. Numbnutts on 19/10/11 at 9:59 amSeattle, WA – (SatireWorld.com)
A Seattle woman is behind bars after allegedly attempting to behead her sleeping husband with a powerful reciprocating saw.
When officers arrived at the couple’s home, they found blood on the carpet and walls and a bloody man who was shouting “it was you, it was you” at his wife, according to a police document obtained by SatireWorld.
“You tried to cut my head off, you’re going to jail, naa naa boo boo,” the man screamed, the affidavit notes.
The 36-year-old victim reportedly told police that he awoke to find his wife cutting his throat with a Sawzall — a power tool that can cut through wood, plastic and even metal, if outfitted with the right blade.
The man, who sustained cuts to his neck and upper shoulder, also told investigators that his 43-year-old wife attacked him with a hatchet, a pair of pruning shears, an electric edger, and a rather mean-looking Weed Whacker! The woman, later identified as Edna Boggs, claims she’s pretty handy with tools around the house.
Boggs admits using the reciprocating saw, but told police she only picked it up to attack an intruder who had broken into their home and escaped through a window in a child’s bedroom.
Police say the window is outfitted with a child lock, which keeps it from opening more than a few inches, so it would be impossible for anyone to escape through the window.
“There was no evidence there was an intruder,” accotrding to police Sgt. Robert Snore.
Investigators found a bloody reciprocating saw on the bedroom floor and a hatchet, which was still wet, seemingly fresh from being washed, atop an upper shelf in the kitchen, according to the officer.
When confronted with the evidence, the woman confessed that she did it because, ‘Well, he was sleeping like a log!’
The suspect is under investigation of first-degree domestic violence assault and is being held in lieu of $250,000 bail.