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Cunard Moves 3 Queens to Bermuda! Next to Leave Britain Elton John?

by captain america on 20/10/11 at 10:32 am

Hamilton, Bermuda – (SatireWorld.com)

Once the sun never set on the British flag, today, the last three floating Queens announced they would be moving to Bermuda and flying that island’s flag as a matter of ‘convenience’ as it became more and more difficult to comply with edicts from the European Union’s Council of Meddlers based in Brussels.

Cunard, formed in 1839 by Canadian Samuel Cunard had a long proud history flying the British Flag for 171 years, with Southampton being painted proudly on the sterns of their luxury ocean liner the QM2, and new cruisers the Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth.

The faltering line was rescued by American investors in 1998 and has become part of Carnival, the largest cruise ship conglomerate in the world, proving to the Brits how Capitalism is supposed to work, much to their dismay and disgust.

Cunard UK announced the move quietly during the furor over the death of Libyan madman Mummy Quaddaffy, in the hopes no one would notice.

The move follows another in the Carnival fleets move when Princess Cruise Lines also re-flagged in Hamilton, ostensibly to allow mid ocean weddings banned by the EU unless ship captains performed Same Sex Weddings and Muslim forced marriages to children as young as 6, a policy the US owners of Carnival strongly disapproved of on moral grounds for which they were roundly criticized for by outraged British scribes.

Said a Carnival spokesman, ” getting married at sea is big business, and we felt the EU edicts were clearly a restraint of our trade. We believe in marriage, but not between same gender participants, or between sisters and brothers, close first cousins, or people who are too drunk to realize who they’re getting into, (NPI).

What’s not being said, but acknowledged by accountants at Carnival, is that it was becoming increasingly difficult to comply with EU Human Rights and Health and Safety Rules.

Carnival said it would have to completely reconfigure their 3 ships to comply with an edict requiring 9 recycling bins to be placed outside of each of the 1500 cabins, which would have made it impossible to comply with recent safety rules regarding egress during an emergency.

Add to that the requirement to employ Bin Wardens supplied by the EU council of ministers to enforce the law and impose outlandish fines up to $1500 for not keeping the lids closed, or lining up the bins properly was the final straw.

Most cruise ship employees sign up on a 10 month contract, and new EU laws mandating 37 1/2 hour work weeks, 42 weeks of paid paternity leave, and pensions worthy of a ship captain, just didn’t add up when the cost was tabulated.

A year long study conducted on the move considered Dubai, Hong Kong, Somalia, Turkey, Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea and Romania as possible considerations, but each had their draw backs including life threatening risks, not to mention possible language difficulties.

Said former defence minister Liam Fox, ” I fully understand the decision. I’m seriously considering such a move myself, it will certainly be a welcomed relief from the frosty, wet climes of London, and I can still enjoy me afternoon tea and a bit of the odd crumpet!”