Morse’s First Post from Satire Heaven; God Has a Sense of Humour and Is Not a Bolivian Dork!

by on 25/10/11 at 7:17 pm

"I mean, think about it. What kinda guy uses a bimbo chick as his personal avatar unless he's.....Well, a real cocksucker?"

Somewhere in a bunker in the USA – (

A bloody, but unbowed Morse, recently deceased due to death by unruly SPOOF mob, sent his first communication through the ether today, to alert his fans that Heaven is really all it’s cracked up to be, and he’s got plenty of good company!

“I was gobsmacked, ” said Captain America, intergalactic correspondent for Satire World, “to find Morse’s avatar on my screen at 5 a.m. this morning, with a coded message dashed and dotted across the screen!”

“No sign of distress whatsoever; the knife wounds in the back were healed, the rope burns around the neck were gone, and his broken typing fingers were all healed. It was a bloody miracle! ”

He said to tell his fans life was ‘good’ in Satire Heaven, and he was surrounded by a welcoming party of talented former Spoof Writers, all none the worse for wear despite their former treatment at the hands of “The Intellectual Posse’ AKA the Bolivian Inquisitors.

After getting his assigned room, a single overlooking Northern New England, Morse joined the Satire Round Table where he met up with a host of former writers.

Monkey Woods, clad in a tropical Tommy Bahama shirt, shorts, and rubber soled scandals and sipping a Yellow Bird, was the first to speak. “Don’t act so surprised Mate, picture me, one minute I’m on a bus getting insulted by a burka clad person on job seeker’s allowance, and the next I’m up here!”

Duncan Whitehead agreed, ” I didn’t think my first time doing stand up comedy in Atlanta was really that bad…but I never survived to my break, then here I am with Monkey
talking about spelling and syntax!”

Earl Grey, sipping on his name sake agreed, “Boy, it’s a tough crowd out there! I thought I shook that Bolivian Assassin by jetting off to Russia, but the bastard finally got to me, it was so bad, I just disappeared meself to get away from the crazy Bastard!”

The female contingent consisting of Charpa, Camilita, Lady G. and Madame Bitters agreed.
“We knew we shouldn’t have written as women…they’re a very ‘backwards’ group ‘over there’ if you get me drift…I think it’s all that drinking and arse grabbin’ that goes on under the guise of ‘boys will be boys’, but I think sodomy crosses the line, innit?”

“They’re all a bunch of tight arses over there,”said Bargis Tryhol, speaking for the Pissgum conjoined twins, BuckwheatsButt, the Man with the World’s Largest Penis, and the World’s Most Interesting Man. “All I did was bring in tens of thousands of readers, I’m still 27% of their internet search queries, and that’s in a down market! All for nothing! I never made a farthing off my creations, but I sure paid for a lot of toasted cheese sandwiches and pickled eggs!”

Bureau, who was at the chiropractor wasn’t at the round table but sent a snippet;
“Spoof Editor Suffers from Pain in Arse” “NHS refuses to treat him for self inflicted wound citing he ‘F****d Himself!”

“It was fun , “said internet Honey Trap ‘Chamone’, I had the boys all goin’ for awhile, but when they found out I was just one of the boys, but not in a gay way, that was the end of it…Laughed my arse over that one I did!”

“I want to just say this about THAT,” said John Perusch before he was shouted down before launching into one of his historic round about comments that never led to a conclusion.

“I was one of the boys,’ said Yorkie Lad Birbee, ‘but then I bought them blue square toed shoes…they never let me live it down…I even think they ratted me to the coppers. Bastards!”

“I just couldn’t be arsed anymore,” said Fergus McCarthy. “lost me joy in it all, don’t you see. Used to be a bunch of good lads havin fun takin’ a bit of the piss an all, then things went all to hell, just like the ‘Tiger Economy,’ don’t blame the yanks, can’t run a Spoof site or a Kangaroo court from a bar stool is wot I say!”

Said Paul Lowton, hiding under the table, “well, don’t blame me you lot. I’m not my brother’s keeper, but God knows he needs one!”

According to Morse the boys and girls are putting together a Satire Newsletter which will be available exclusively on Satire World on Earth. “Coming from Satire Heaven it should have a bigger market then Al Gore’s or Oprah’s TV network, and backed by GOD it will be the final word. So far she’s really diggin’ it…great sense of humour for a woman, THAT!”

4 Responses to “Morse’s First Post from Satire Heaven; God Has a Sense of Humour and Is Not a Bolivian Dork!”

  1. Bargis

    Oct 25th, 2011

    Great story….At least you didn’t go to that other place and have to spend eternity with SFO!
    I think I saw his photo at an Occupy-A-Dumpster rally in San Francisco

  2. The Real Duncan Whitehead

    Oct 25th, 2011

    Absolutely hillarious!

    Brilliant! Morse? I do not know, but very very funny!

    Ahmnot Heare

  3. Mark Lowton

    Oct 25th, 2011

    This is not fair! I hate you! I hate you all!

  4. Lady Godiva

    Oct 25th, 2011

    Hey, I recognize that fella in the photo…..Isn’t he my ‘Bastard Son’?

    Of course I stand to be corrected.

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