Hold the Phone! Rebekuh Brooks to be New CEO at New York Times?
by captain america on 16/12/11 at 1:03 pm
New York City – (SatireWorld.com)
PHOTO INSERT–> Age defying Rebecca Brooks had a few nips and tucks, plus a new hairdo and unknowingly transformed herself into a Carrot Top look-a-like!–>
Holy Gotham City Batman! Print journalism was in shock today after it was announced that long time NY Times CEO Janet Robinson was stepping down from the tabloid after continued loss of revenue, share price and veracity, with 87% of readership saying they now believe the National Enquirer over the Obama Administration’s daily newsletter!
Adding to the confusion, which left staffers in shock, publisher Arthur Sulzburger, was said to be having a late lunch with former News of the World Red Top Maven Rebekuh Brooks fanning speculation that the medusa haired former copy girl could be in line for a new job after the recent phone hacking scandal that brought down the Murdoch owned tabloid in Britain.
Robinson, appointed in 2004, has seen the NYT stock plunge 80% since she took over, and it is now behind the Wall Street Journal and USA today in both print and on line readership.
Adding to the rag’s woes is the decline in advertisers, down 9% last quarter, bolstered only by ads from Government Motors for the Chevy Volt, and a host of start up solar and wind powered Obama backed
schemes.
MF Global, the recently bankrupted company headed by former Democratic Senator, Governor, and major financial Obama donor Jon Corzine also is said to have hurt revenue.
MF had been taking out full page ads soliciting money from mid west cattle ranchers and grain elevator operators before they misplaced $1.2m of the funds they raised from the ads from hapless
farmers.
The Times, with it’s news stories reading like editorials from Democrat National Committee Charwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, did remain popular during the recent Occupy Wall Street movement (OWS) in New York, where hordes of liberal leaning students from Harvard, Columbia, Berkley and Yale were using the financial section to wipe their arse after defecating in the street.
“Better than the New York Post,” said Saul Greenberg, who’s father owns a hedge fund specializing in EU currency manipulation, “it’s pretty user friendly, and the ink doesn’t rub off leaving you with
a black ass…I gave it 7 stars out of 10!”
The sudden resignation leaves the Times without a CEO, and with no apparent heir in sight, the clandestine meeting between Sulzburger and Brooks left the writing staff very anxious.
Said Times contributing Sociopath Paul Krugman, “I’ll continue to write a bunch of bull shit, and fabricate stories, but I’m drawing the line. Read my lips, I am not hacking Kim Kardashian’s phone!”
Let’s Hear It!