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Bad Heir Day: Trump Quits Republicans, Threatens to Scuttle 2012 Elections!

by captain america on 24/12/11 at 8:28 am

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

A petulant Donald Trump threw the 2012 elections into turmoil and doubt as he announced he was considering a run at the Presidency as an independent after changing his party affiliation to
“Quisling”, after two years spent infiltrating the Republican Party.

Over the years Trump has flipped flopped from party to party more than his hair in a mild breeze, and as often as he changed wives, and as late as 2009 donated $50,000 to Rahm Emanuel’s mayoral campaign in Chicago, as well as contributions to convicted fraudster former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich and the Illinois Democratic Party.

The TV reality star and CEO of multiple gambling and real estate ventures, is counting on his name recognition, bashing of China, and his public criticism of Obama and the current administration to draw voters….just enough to skew the election toward 4 more years of Obama’s “Chicago Way.”

With this latest publicity scheme to keep his name in the headlines and insert himself into national politics as a ‘player’, some former supporters are now questioning where his loyalties and professed love of country really is centered, other than his legend in his own mind.

Barry Obama, seen cavorting on the beach in Hawaii during his $4m vacation was seen to be laughing his ass off when informed of Trump’s latest bombshell pronouncement, and Michelle was said to have gone immediately to the phone to her decorator to begin planning yet another White House redecorating makeover beginning in January 2013, including returning all former presidents portraits into storage at the Smithsonian.

Contacted in San Francisco, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called Trump “a visionary and a martyr for the cause; the man’s a saint,” said the semi-Devout Catholic who claims the Pope calls on her for her views on abortion and birth control issues, investment banking deals for the Vatican ,and wrinkle reducing miracles . Pelosi backed up her praise with a picture of Trump showing a weeping wound on his chin, although a Trump spokesman said the tycoon had cut himself shaving, and it was not a stigmata.

“Praise the Lord and stuff the ballot box,” said Senate majority leader Harry Reid, who is said to be in talks with Trump directors to approve 3 more Trump Towers in Las Vegas and revoke the licenses of Steve Wynn, a frequent critic of Obama and the administration.

Former wife, (number one), Ivana Trump is said to be on the short list of choices for the new
Ambassador to Czechoslovakia, and daughter Ivanka is said to be poised to join charismatic Chelsea Clinton as a business news anchor on NBC in moves unrelated to Trumps thumping of the Republicans, according to White House spokesman Jay Carney, and fact checked by the impartial New York Times
and HuffPoo post.

As of press time there was no confirmation that Newt Gingrich was in talks with Trump to join him as his running mate. Insiders say Newt is working on a pre-nup which assures him of a golden parachute
and a lucrative exit bonus after Obama squeaks out the election in 2012. The sticking point seems to be a clause giving Gingrich’s wife (his third) a black American Express card, and an ‘interest free’ loan to pay off her tab at Tiffany, said to be seven figures, but less than Michelle’s tab for her endless shopping spree for African Designer Clothes and exotic lunch and dinner jaunts with
her ‘girl friends and extensive staff.’

If that wasn’t enough, Trump announced that North Korea’s heir apparent, Kim Jung Un, will be appearing on the next edition of “Celebrity Apprentice” alongside Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan,
Bruce Jenner, Octomom Nadya Suleman and former congressman A. Weiner.