New Expose Book: Michelle ‘unhappy with White, Irish Catholics and Jewish Ballet Dancers in Chicago!
by captain america on 11/01/12 at 7:03 amWashington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
A new insiders view into the Michele Obama White House reveals the First Lady was not happy with her position in Chicago, which she claims was ruled by ‘insular white, Irish Catholics,’ and didn’t want to move to Washington until Sheila Jackson Lee and Maxine Waters were able to rename her residence ‘something more politically correct to fit my image and stature.’
Apparently efforts to change the ‘White House’ to “My Big Fat Pile” didn’t get very far.
According to the book, which claims the author interviewed hundreds of close sources to the First Couple, Michelle was also upset that the Vatican ‘never even once had a black Pope. They even picked a Pollock over one of US,” she reportedly ranted at a top security briefing regarding a money laundering scheme involving campaign cash between a Chicago bagman and a former Vatican Bank official, now deceased, the latter ruled a suicide after found hanging in a closet in Pattaya, Thailand trussed up like a Turkey with his throat slashed.
Michelle also reportedly clashed with close presidential advisors Rahm Emanuel, now Mayor of Chicago, and her husband’s sex surrogate, Valerie Jarrett, the slumlord Queen of the Windy City over policy and parties at the White House.
Jarrett is credited with killing Osama Bin Laden after Barry got cold feet and was out playing golf when she pushed the button.
Apparently all three traded the ‘F’ Word in furious rows over aid to Israel, how high one should wear a belt in public, and Michelle’s extravagant spending sprees, not to mention the merits of fruits and vegetables for public school children in suppressing sexual urges in pre-teens.
She was reportedly furious after Valerie OK’d the invitations for Michaele and Tareq Salahi to crash a private party calling them ‘poor white trailer trash Presbyterians that couldn’t bundle $3 for Barry!”
Early reports from the Vatican claim the Pope is upset, pissed off, and highly indignant. Pope Benedict XVI, known as “Joey” to his friends in Massachusetts, said if the truth be told, he wan’t too thrilled to have a Muslim African-American Basketball player with a mother in law practicing witch craft in the White House, either.
Formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger, said to be a close friend of the Kennedy Family and related to Arnold Schwartzeneger by marriage, the Pope commented that ‘the next thing you know Mrs. Obama will want the National Weather Bureau to name hurricanes after her daughters Sasha and Malia, hasn’t she done enough damage already?”