by HMS Pantiliner on 24/01/12 at 5:37 pmNew York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
The coke snorting son of John F Kennedy took a massive gamble marrying the vapid peroxide smack addicted Calvin Klein executive in what some have described as a knee jerk reaction to six years trysting with Daryl Hannah.
Bessette, her sister Lauren and JFK Jr all perished in a mystery light plane downing close to the Kennedy family’s favorite RIP spot of Martha’s Vineyard in 1999.
Now a new book by purported former JFK Jr aide claims rows about intrusive paparazzi activity were behind ‘teething problems’ in the couple’s marriage.
That flaccid old chestnut of constant media attention is being rolled out as the real reason behind matrimonial tensions in this co-depedent junkie pair’s relationship.
The truth however is far more basic – indeed Bessette lapped up all the press schmoozing until one of her regular heroin suppliers was busted and demanded a plea bargain that entailed naming JFK Jr’s wife as one of his top private clients.
Several stints at rehab under the well-worn banner of ‘pre-wedding nerves’ saw Bessette do cold turkey in a number of exclusive, hush-hush joints.
But the 12-step premise of powerlessness and unmanageability (Step 1 on the recovery ladder) were not something that she ever took on board.
“No wonder the Kennedys and Bessettes insisted on an immediate cremation and burial of ashes at sea,” someone who went to the couple’s September 1996 wedding commented today.
The mystery of couple’s plane’s downing is easily explained by the possibility that pilot John Jr ‘took a snort from the wrong wrap’ before passing out at the controls.
But that’s hardly something existing Kennedy clan members might wish to discuss.