by captain america on 05/02/12 at 2:59 pm
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
The White House and number 10 Downing Street have been twittering back and forth in the run up to the state dinner for Samantha Cameron and husband Dave to be hosted by American’s anti-royals, President and Mrs. Obama.
While hopes are high that the President will make amends for the last disastrous trip for England’s Ex Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who was cavity searched before being allowed into the White House, and being unceremoniously given the bust of Winston Churchill to return home, Cameron is said to be taking no chances of any such ‘unfortunate misunderstanding’ occurring again.
According to Coalition Sources, Cameron will be announcing he has asked former England Soccer Captain John Terry to accompany the Prime Minister’s party as a personal protocol advisor on race relations should the President or First Lady attempt to bring up England’s past troubles involving the Mau Mau uprisings allegedly involving a distant relative of the President.
Terry recently has come under fire for allegedly calling an opponent a “F****g Black C****” a charge that has him facing criminal consquences in England, despite his denial that
….’that bastard was only half black…I rest me case!”
To also assuage the President, Cameron has announced that since India has declared the country’s aid package of $500M to be ‘mere peanuts’, they have suspended payments to the country, and instead have cut a check to the US as part of ‘reparations’ for the slave trade originating in Bristol which made ‘more than a few privileged Lords in London filthy rich.”
The dinner table conversation may prove slightly awkward, however, as it was also announced by Obama’s close personal advisor, Valerie Jarrett, that the President had asked Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner to attend the state dinner as part of his “Malvinas Spring” campaign to return the ‘Falklands’ to Argentina under the guise of ‘Animal Rights’ as a ‘humanitarian gesture’ for the island’s mixed race sheep.
Kerry Kennedy, incidentally, has declared she has no direct financial interest in the outcome involving alleged ownership of the mega oil find located just off shore of the islands, but said, “If BP gets the right to drill it’ll be Equator all over again…I’m backing Petroleos de Venezuela, S.A. Pro Bono, but if they want to give me a ‘taste’ after I win the suit, I’d be rude not to take a wee bit of the residuals!”
Hugo Chavez applauded Kennedy’s stand saying, “Here’s a true patriot who’s willing to put her own personal capitalistic greed behind the needs of the people,” before announcing she would be granted a special ‘Medal of Freedom” and free oil changes for her BMW for life.
According to a source on Michelle’s huge personal staff, the task of providing a suitable gift for the Camerons has been turned over to 18 year old Kenyan intern Domica – Shieka (Domica DashSheka, the ‘dash’ be silent) who has been looking through some of Barry’s memorabilia stored in a trunk passed down from his father’s family.
So far she has turned up a set of thumb screws, a frayed studded bull whip, a set of fried battery terminals, a black hood , a short Zulu stabbing spear and 3 shrunken heads which the President had planned to donate to the either the Smithsonian institute or to his planned Presidential Library in Hawaii.
Rumours that Obama had planned to return the ‘Resolute’ desk to England were scotched when Michelle deemed the shipping costs ‘outrageous’ especially in light of the Royal Mail’s egregious history of not guaranteeing delivery.
When last seen Domica was charging up a ‘bunch of stuff’ from the White House tourist kiosk including pre-marked ballots for the 2012 election, a 2300 hundred page commemorative issue of ObamaCare, a treatise on why Global Warming was threatening the world, and a pamphlet declaring Chicago and London as ‘sister cities.’ (but not in a gay way)
The hacking group Anonymous released a few tweets they claimed they intercepted between the two mistresses of state over the weekend:
@Number10.gov: Thanks you so much Michelle! Dave and I are just Gobsmacked? Now, what should I wear…that frock with the belt just under my tits, or something a little less flattering? Sam
@African-AmericanPrez.Ego: For What? Nothing doing that week anyway, and I was bored. Try not to wear any dull grey London stuff…and forget about those daffy freekin’ hats…bring something to amuse yourself, I won’t be around much anyway.
@Number10.gov: Can’t wait to meet you! Trying hard to understand your Black Humour..ha-ha…
bet underneath we’ll find we have a lot in common..I heard you are a Motha too?? Will you be serving at the afternoon Tea Party?
@African-AmericanPrez.Ego: If U persist in Twitting me, please learn proper english and spelling, U R starting to P me off…racist Bitch…!
Well, more if we get it and common decency allows us to print it!