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Child Welfare Considers Placing Malia in Foster Care after Parents Send Her on Deadly Mexican Vacation!

by captain america on 20/03/12 at 9:05 am

The White House – (SatireWorld.com)

Child Welfare officials in Washington DC are said to be considering intervening in the parenting of Malia Obama after her parents thoughtlessly sent her off to a potential life threatening spring break trip to Oaxaca Mexico!

With over 50,000 drug cartel related murders in the past several years, the state department has been warned against foreign travel, and border states have been warning college students NOT to travel anywhere in Mexico for spring break.

Last saturday a gift wrapped head was found on the door step of a downtown office building, and last week two university students were gunned down in a public plaza during mid day.

Former hit men for the Gulf Cartel, the Zetas, have taken responsibility for the killings during the continued turf war for the lucrative drug pipe line business leading to the US.

A spokesman for the first family said they went ahead with the ‘cultural’ trip for Malia and 12 of her closest friends based on the advice of Homeland Security Chief Janet Napitalano who was the former governor of Arizona before she fled to the safety of the Washington, DC in fear for her safety.

“For the first time in my life, I finally feel safe,” the Pant Suited Posse member reportedly told Rachel Maddow in a highly edited interview where she also said out of the side of her mouth,
“the Arizona/Texas border has never been safer” while touting her naked body scanners, the hiring of 50,000 uneducated TSA agents, many with outstanding warrants, and a predilection for pediphilia, fondling passengers, stealing from suitcases and exposing themselves in public.

Meanwhile, somewhere just outside Houston a local resident, identified only as “Art from Oakhurst” said, “If it’s so safe, why do I have to wear a Kevlar vest when I play golf three times a week!
I hear gunfire every night, and just last week we found two heads in the sand trap on #4! I think the administration is blowing smoke up our arse, and you can quote me on that! It’s so dangerous here we held my class reunion in St. Augustine last weekend because everyone was afraid to come to Texas. Better to be dodging Harley’s than Bullets, is what my classmates told me!”

Hedging his bets President Obama sent Malia along with 25 highly armed secret service agents,
two platoons of the airborne rangers, and 3 members of Seal Team 7 to act as life guards at the posh hotel pool where the teenagers have commandeered the entire hotel, sparing no expense to the US taxpayers footing the bill.

According to informed sources the CIA is hovering over the scene with a fully armed squadron of drones aided by Google Map scanning each near by street and peering into windows looking for potential security threats.

Meanwhile the hunt for a potential foster family is continuing. Possible candidates to take over for the Obamas have been placed on a short list of approved mentors for the 13 year old girl.

So far the list consists of Bobby Brown, Chris Rock, Alex Baldwin, Van Jones, Whitney Houston’s mother, and the parents of Sandra Fluke.

Attorney General Eric Holder said he would be representing the Obama’s in family court pro bono.