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First, Fisker Motor Cars, Now Al Gore’s Current TV’s Lack Of Viewers Causes Cable Giant To Consider Cancellation

by Bargis Tryhol on 05/04/12 at 12:47 pm

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

First, it was Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network that tettered on bankruptcy, now Al Gore’s Current TV has even bigger problems to deal with than a potential lawsuit from fired news anchor and full-time douchebag Keith Olbermann…namely not getting kicked off Time Warner Cable for low ratings.

According to sources with intimate knowledge of the situation, Time Warner Cable Inc’s agreement with Current TV stipulates that, if the over-the-top left-leaning political news network fails to meet a minimum threshold for overall viewers in a given quarter, financial penalties such as Current TV being required to increase marketing and promotion spending on the cable operator’s systems are triggered. So far, C-TV has three major sponsors willing to pay for commercial time…Magnum Condoms, Al-Bright Solar Panel Company, and the ill-fated Fisker Motor Car Company.

If Current TV misses the audience benchmark in two consecutive quarters, another contract clause is triggered that would allow Time Warner Cable to drop the channel. The condition was built into the most recent distribution pact between the two parties, which was signed in 2010. Recent viewership has bordered on about 45,000 viewers per day.

“Time Warner Cable has been flirting with the idea of pulling Current off its systems for some time now and replacing it with Three Stooges re-runs.” said one of the sources, who all spoke on condition of anonymity.

In a hasty move to shore up terrible ratings, Al Gore has signed in recent months notable asswipes like Cenk Unger, Rosie O’Donnell, Joy Baer, Alex Baldwin, and ex-governor and self proclaimed cocksman Elliott Spizer to host various news programs. A source close to Current TV said a typical Twinkies commercial on light night mainstream channels garners more viewers than all of Current TV’s news programs during prime time.