by Bargis Tryhol on 13/04/12 at 9:46 amNewark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com)
Elroy Smites was down on his luck ever since the Vulcan rubber factory closed in late 2006. Homeless, destitute, and seemingly without a future, Elroy took to panhandling on the mean Newark streets as his only source of income.
After setting up in front of the local Republican Election Headquarters on Broad Street, Elroy adjusted his ragged cap and put his back toward a building wall. Seated on a tattered blanket and holding a cheap, handmade cardboard sign, Elroy started taking in the money as agreeable donors walked several feet away and threw cash into his tincan.
“I had a tin can and with-in an hour it overflowed with money, now they just throw the dollar bills at me and walk away with a smile!”
After seeing Elroy raking in the cash, a local firm PR firm immediately hired Smites as a promotional assistant, hoping to cash in itself on other novel ways to solicit funds.
Elroy is thankful for his immediate windfall and hopes to move into a real home soon.