Elizabeth Warren Assails Scotland Yard over “Red List” replacing “Black List” for “Sensitivity Reasons!”
by captain america on 09/05/12 at 11:34 amBoston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)
Embattled Senate Candidate Elizabeth Warren, still digging her own grave concerning her alleged Native American roots, doubled down over Scotland Yards new ‘sensitivity policy’ requiring that the terms ‘Black List” and ‘White List’ be struck down in order to promote racial harmony.
Said DCI Morse, forced out at the yard for his outspoken criticism over botched investigations and whistle blowing on criminal coddling, “don’t say I didn’t tell you so! Since I’ve been gone the lads have gone mad….crime is up 98% whilst arrests are down 23% in 3 months…no wonder people are afraid to write letters to the editor…chavs have even taken over the internet…BASTARDS!”
Unfortunately for the gaffe prone law enforcement agency, the decision to replace the ‘offensive’ terms with “Red List” has struck a nerve not only with Warren, but other famous and non famous
persons in the Colonies who claim they carry Native American Blood. (NAB).
Warren, who claims she is descended from Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring from the acclaimed 50′s icon show “Howdy Doody” has filed a complaint with the Human Resources Department at Harvard University where she and her husband allegedly teach and receive tenured salaries approaching $400,000 per year.
Harvard said they have forwarded the complaint directly to the Department of Justice for immediate attention by Attorney General Eric Holder who has claimed to be 1/53 Blackfoot (‘on my mother’s side”).
Holder has gone on record to proclaim that people of colour should not be singled out for a ‘Black List’ or a ‘Red List” and backs Obama in his decision not to release his donor list.
Holder further denied that his department has compiled an ‘Enemies List’ for the President leading up the the election which staffers have referred to as the “White Racist List” which includes members of the Vatican, descendants of Betsy Ross, Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Dewey.
Outspoken Hollywood Indian Princess Cher, who has been vocal in her support of Warren said,” I resent being put on the ‘Red List’ by some constipated Brit! It’s an insult to my heritage, my transgender son/daughter, and most of all to the off spring of Jay Silver Heels! (Tonto to those of you in the Falklands). As for Elizabeth, of course she’s part Indian…just look at the beads she wears and those Jimmy Choo moccasins! She was also known as an ‘Indian Giver’ in college and always made a point of attending Winter Carnival at Dartmouth with all those other sex starved Indians!”
Many in Hollywood claim NA ancestry, although not all claims have been verified. According to reports Red Skin Nation counts Burt Reynolds, Sean Penn, Anthony Quinn, Della Reece,James Earl Jones, Sly Stallone, Quentin Tarantino, and Richard Simmons amongst their tribe.
Said Hiram Weinstein, who’s Indian name is ‘He who counts wampum”, treasurer at the Foxwoods Casino in Massachusetts, “hey…no big deal…they can put me on any list they want..business is good, and I don’t really care much about that stuff, them Brits are all meshugana if you axe me!”
Equalities Minister Lynne FEATHERweight (sic), busy fighting the right of Christian workers to wear a cross around their neck in England, or display a symbol of Christianity in white vans or their cab, could not be reached for comment as she was pleading her case before the council of human rights somewhere in Brussels.
Said a spokesman for the Liberal Minister, “we’re not saying they can’t wear a cross, just that they have to hide it from view by wearing a burka or hoodie like other civilized Britons..same goes for sharks tooth and bear claw necklaces and of course scalps.”
A spokesman for the EU said that if Christians don’t comply they could be stoned to death, or worse, lose their jobs.