by Bargis Tryhol on 31/05/12 at 4:04 pmBoston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)
Senatorial candidate Elizabeth Warren got a taste of Indian heritage today when a man in the crowd the ‘Indian Princess’ was addressing removed his hat and asked…’Are you responsible for this?” The man’s obvious scalped head bore the scars of a sharp knife and hurried removal.
Lester Fineberg, a napkin salesman from Port Dover Canada, claims Indians scalped him after he bet big at an Indian run casino and couldn’t meet his payment marker. “They scalped me and I’m betting this Warren person had something to do with it!”
Elizabeth ‘Pocohantos’ Warren has been in the news recently after a discovery was made that she claimed ‘Indian heritage’ on job submission forms to a school in Pennsylvania, and later on at Harvard. In both cases her ‘minority status’ precluded other candidates from receiving a job offer. Warren says she is 1/132th American Indian, but cannot furnish proof other than saying, “My mother told me and I always played an Indian girl with my brother when we played cowboys and indians as children.” Other recent revelations that she suppported the Cleveland Indians has soured election chances in a predominatly Boston Red Sox team base like Boston.
Authorities are looking into the charges and have questioned casino employees, and Ms. Warren who in her biography supported the scalping practices, especially for major sports games and special rock concerts.
Warren was unavalable for comment, but did give us a nice pair of beaded moccasins and a plastic tomahawk with her photo and autograph.
Fineberg says he feels betrayed now, especially after supporting Warren and at her urging, formed his own Opccupy Wall Street demonstrations in his home town of Port Dover. “It’s a nice way to meet your neighbors,’ said Fineberg.