by Jalapenoman on 04/06/12 at 7:38 pmMiami, FL – (SatireWorld.com)
Groups representing Italian Americans and Mexican Americans admitted that both are upset and offended by the concept of Taco Pizza. While neither group finds the other at fault in the invention or marketing of the product, both feel that the combination is especially and essentially demeaning and insulting to their racial heritage.
Giovanni Linguini of the Office of the Italian Consulate in Miami said that “Tacos have their place. Pizza has its place. Egg rolls have their place. Hagis has its place. Ethnic foods from all over the world identify the culture of a region or country or people and should not be mixed together. This is not mixing chocolate and peanut butter and getting a Reese’s cup. This is the melting of two icons.”
Linguini has said that he discussed the product with a representative of the Mexican Government, and the two are considering suing the makers of the Taco Pizza under Hate Crime laws (and seeing just how much free Obama money they could get).
Speaking of Pizza Hut, Mexican Ambassador Jesus Juan Julio Lopez Torres Guadaludpe de los Santos Hernandez Gonzalez Hernandez Garcia (Chuy for short) agreed with the spirit of Linguini’s words by saying “Hijo de puta, este es no bueno por shit!”
A spokesman for Pizza Hut admitted that the product went though extensive trials. “Of all of our ethnic combinations, this one was the most successful. It had a higher market score than Rocky Mountain Oyster Pizza, Fish and Chips Pizza, Poi Pizza, or Kim Chee Pizza. We thought that we had a proven winner and apologize if the product offended anyone.”
To this statement, Chuy (Jesus Juan Julio Lopez Torres Guadaludpe de los Santos Hernandez Gonzalez Hernandez Garcia) responded by saying “Pinche pendejo. Este es muy malo. You quiero mucho Obama dinero.”
When asked what they would do with the money if they won the lawsuit, Linguini said that there were several women he would like to take out and that he also should move out of the home of his mother. Chuy wants a new low rider and a black velvet painting of the Virgin Mary and another of Elvis.