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Wisconson Democrats Hampered As 2012 Electile Dysfunction Spreads

by Bargis Tryhol on 06/06/12 at 7:09 am

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems faced the Wisconson Democratic Party today as the 2012 elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as the predominate adjective used most often on television to describe the situation with the Left.

Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the candidates offered by the Democrat party after almost four years of lack-luster performance and general party apathy.

Hoping the sexual enhancement drug Viagra will somehow increase their political libidos, millions of Democrats across the country have nearly cleaned out pharmacy stocks in a rush to somehow jump start an agenda that has completely, and simply run out of steam.

Promises of a ‘Change You Can Believe In,’ that never happened, and the over used word ‘Hope,’ as a means of instilling some vague, unspoken promise to voters, has left many ardent supporters of the current administration without a message for presidential election voters to attach too. According to a Democratic spokesman who wished to remain anonymous, “What are we going to talk about? The economy? Obama’s bow to the King of Saudi Arabia? Lindsay Lohan’s numerous arrests?”

In the Administration’s closest inner circle, unrest and anxiety have caused the once steadfast supporters of Barack Obama to suddenly look for greener pastures away from and the deepening shadow of failed performances. But many are also looking for any free government stockpiles of Viagra they can take with them before they leave.

Rahn Emmanuel, the President’s ex-Chief of Staff, was recently observed taking a two-year supply of Viagra in order to help his political tenure as Mayor of Chiago. Others applauded the action, but noted that with Emmanuel, particularly concerning his past reputation, the only thing the Viagra could do is to make him taller.

Hampered with a struggling economy that has gone nowhere except to line the pockets of bankers, unions, and bloated big government, the economy is showing signs of dipping into a second recession as important economic indicators have steadily dipped over the past three months. The weak economy, coupled with the report of increased numbers of government employees making over a hundred thousand dollars a year, has given taxpayers little to celebrate.

A recent GOA report revealed a 1500% rise in government officials making a hundred thousand dollars in salary(plus perks) since the current Administration has taken office, has strongly hinted at some election favors being repaid with well paying government jobs.

Questionable programs that were supposed to create jobs through bailout monies have left a bitter taste in many people’s mouths as revelations of a recent California Obama approved project that funneled over $120 million dollars into a infrastructure project, but only created 56 new jobs!

Even the ill-fated Cash for Clunkers stimulus for the heavily unionized auto industry has caused some Republican comments… and even some back-handed praise. According to an industry insider and frequent commentator on conservative issues….”We’d loved the Cash for Clunkers Program. It removed millions of Obama bumper stickers from the road!”

Conservative leaders have offered some advice for their leftist brethren who are suffering from the embarrassing condition known as ‘Electile Dysfunction,’ “Relax, it’s only a few more months and everything will be ‘All Right’ for you guys once again.”