by captain america on 12/06/12 at 4:26 pmThe Obama administration is “circling the wagons’, as Elizabeth Warren would say, after the latest public disaster in the form of a cabinet head who may have been high on ‘weed’ caused 3 hit and run accidents in….California?
Secretary of Commerce (NPI), John Bryson was pulled unconscious out of his air tight Lexus after striking one car twice, and yet another in the next town in what authorities are calling a ‘possible allergic reaction from medication prescribed for his glaucoma aggravated by not opening his windows whilst driving.”
Authorities from the DEA, allegedly the first on the scene, thought the car was on fire as the compartment was ‘filled with smoke’ and the ‘victim’ was slumped over the wheel, apparently unconscious. Three agents were overcome with fumes and left laughing hysterically when they opened the air tight compartment of the late model Lexus, which caused them to immediately head for the closest Taco Bell to satisfy their quest for ‘munchies.’
California authorities are blaming recent revelations of Marijuana addiction by President Barry Obama and his high school penchant for ‘chooming’, closing all the windows in a car and the continuous recycling of marijuana smoke to achieve the biggest ‘high.’
The resurrected practice is now resulting in more accidents being blamed on the juvenile behaviour, and according to Governor Jerry ‘Moonbeam’ Brown, no stranger himself to bogarting a joint, to declare “Barry has set back the legalization of drugs at least a decade! What was he thinking?”
White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) refused to answer questions on the incident, saying only that the Secretary ‘suffered a seizure after being overcome by smoke while combatting a minor conflagration when his bong malfunctioned.”
Reports from Mexico said the Secretary is resting conformably in a secure location, and he is well enough to continue trade negotiations with the Zeta Drug Cartel in keeping with the President’s NAFTA policies encouraging the profitable import/export trade vital to the economy and his reelection.
No reaction from the White House yet on the report 39 headless bodies were found outside a competing medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco with notes complaining of ‘restraint of trade.”