by Steely Beast on 14/06/12 at 6:02 amLondon(UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
The British Olympic Committee has vowed never to use beloved physicist Stephen Hawkings again to promote the British Olympics due to the unforseen problems he had while delivering the Olympic Torch to the 2012 London games.
Noted physicist and perennial slow poke, Stephen Hawkings, had taken possession of the Olympic Torch for a portion of the famous procession which began at historic Mt. Olympus in Greece, and ending at the summer 2012 destination in London where the torch would be used to ignite the Olympic Flame which will burn for the duration of the games. Hawkings took possesion of the Olympic Torch for a small portion of the way into the 2012 Olympic City of London.
Officials were fuming mad at the delay, because they've had to refill the torch eleven times with fuel, and yet… It had only traveled 2 miles in three days.
The struggling Hawkings was last seen bundled up under soaked blankets as the rain assailed his already slow progress to a virtual snail's pace.
"The bloody 'snail' is costing us time and money," recalled an outraged observer, who showed a photo of Hawkings enjoying himself at a local pool party.
Hawkings was originally chosen as a torch 'runner' because his application to represent the UK in the Olympic Field and Track event, but was turned down by the Royal Commission.
According to officials, in order to speed Hawking's progress, committee organizers were going to rig a make shift sail to his wheelchair to conform to the ‘self-powered’ limits of the Olympic Torch progression rules.