Lindsay Lohan Found Unconscious in California Hotel Room….Brain Reported Missing!
by Annoying Rash on 15/06/12 at 1:35 pm
Though brainless, Lohan was able to sign to medics her immediate needs by asking for a quart of Bombay gin and a pack of Marlboros.
Another disaster for America’s favorite tragedy-ready-to-happen?
SatireWorld reports that the Lohan was found in the penthouse of the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey before paramedics were reportedly called at 10:15 AM and the actress was transported to a nearby hospital.
“She’s fine and we’re hoping she will be released soon. Yes, we’re still looking for her brain and hope to find it before Monday’s scheduled shoot,” a friend of the Lohan’s told SatireWorld reporters.
Lohan was briefly hospitalized last week after she collided with an 18-wheeler on a Los Angeles highway. The actress did not sustain any injuries from the collision. California Highway Patrol investigated the accident and at that time notified medics that her ‘brain appeared to be missing.’ Medical authorites collaborated the story saying she had a ‘pretty big hole’ in the side of her head that appeared to be super glued together sometime before the accident.
Lohan’s business agent Mel Lipshitz said Lohan had reportedly been hard at work, filming her forthcoming movie, “Liz and Dick,” for almost two days straight and checked into the hotel to catch up on sleep. “I know she had what we call in the trade…’A mindless script.’ So we know she didn’t have anxiety over the pressure of saying her lines each time she was on the set.”
Lohan was released from jail in 2009 for substance abuse problems and and had subsequent run ins with the law over drunk driving charges and other reckless actions. In 2011 a California judge handed down the death sentence for Lohan and she was out on bond pending an appeal.
Friends have offered a reward for the safe return of Lohan’s brain, and law officials have brought into question whether her missing brain violated the bond requirements. A judge on Monday is expected to issue an arrest warrant and list Lohan as a fugitive from justice.
Let’s Hear It!