“Nine Reasons Why Me, Your President, Hates Mitt Romney
by Bargis Tryhol on 15/07/12 at 3:31 am
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Top nine reasons why me, Barack Obama, your humble and abiding President dislikes that rich Republican-for-life Mitt Romney.
1. Yuck! Why he’s a successful and a self-made businessman. His Dad didn’t give him a hand-out, so he and Ann had to make it on their own. When Mitt’s father died, he gave the entire inheritence to charity. Whatta chump!
2. Mitt’s Been married to ONE woman his entire life, and has been faithful to her. Now, that’s B-O-R-I-N-G!
3. No personal or business related scandals or skeletons in his closet. No father who was a commie and anti-capitalist…No mother who spread her legs for anyone who just stepped off the Africa boat…Not even an upbringing of religious hatred taught at a madrassa in a foreign country.
4. Mitt and Ann Romney have plenty of money (made it all by himself too without the government helping) and since nobody else in this country has any desire to have plenty of money without our assistance down here in Washington, I don’t like him!
5. Yes, Mitt and Ann as a family of great boys….None of them are in drug rehab, or part of an Occupy Wall Street group, and stay out of trouble. Gee! Are these guys plastic or what?
6. Get this, Mitt doesn’t smoke (even in secret like me), or does he drink alcohol, or do drugs. Not even in college, where guys like me had a drug smoking club called the Choom gang! How can you trust a guy who never got high?
7. Old Mitt just represents an America of “yesterday”, where people believed in God, went to Church, didn’t screw around, worked hard, and became a SUCCESS! We can’t relate to such an anachronism, he stinks of responsibility and self reliance! I bet he never worked as a community organizer and got lazy people motivated to walk on down to the Social Security and Welfare office and demand their fair share!
8. Oh yes…..He’s a MORMON. That horrible religion that teaches its
members to be clean-living, patriotic, fiscally conservative, charitable, self-reliant, honest, upright and MORAL!
Ha Ha, when I first heard that he was a Mormon, I immediately thought M-O-R-O-N…Only an uptight white dude with a small dick would be like this guy…He ain’t even cool like me! I bet he does a real poor southern accent when talking in front of black groups
9. I bet he’s still one to believe that America is great or something. I even bet he thinks Islam isn’t the religion of love and peace..Whatta dummy! Yeah, he says we liberals aren’t patriotic, but he’s never been to Chicago to see our liberals who are soooo patriotic, the deads ones get up from the grave and vote…Sometimes more than once!
And one more point while the teleprompter is still warmed up…..Those really cool and non-biased MSNBC pundits say because of his wealth, he can’t relate to ordinary Americans. I guess that’s because he made that money ALL BY HIMSELF…..as opposed to marrying it (as in John Kerry) or inheriting it from Dad (as in Jack, Robert & Ted Kennedy.) We Democrats fully understand that actually working at a job and earning your own money makes a guy like Romney un-relatable to us ordinary Americans. I bet this guy never visited Chicago!
Yup, that Romney dude is certainly strange and I hate him.
GlossyNews Brian
Jul 15th, 2012
Jesus dude. Even for you this is over the top.
1 – Yes he did. Son of a governor? No hand out?
3 – Those skeletons are stumbling out by the day, and it’s causing the Romney campaign endless grief.
4- Romney had Bain hire lobbyists to get the income tax rate reduced on carried interest from 35% to 15%… that amounts to millions of dollars in tax reduction.
6 – Yes he did.
7 – The Leave it to Beaver era is a myth. Obama worked with the poor, he didn’t fire them.
8 – Mormonism also teaches that you’ll be given a planet full of sexual slaves when you die. The book denounces blacks (sons of Hamm, I believe) and promotes polygamy… are these the values we wish to return to?
9 – Oh man, this tired line again? Gimme a break, bro. This has been disproved so many times it isn’t even funny any more.
Jalapenoman
Jul 16th, 2012
Just a quick and simple reply to #8.
The Book of Mormon never mentions Ham (son of Noah) or blacks at all. Blacks are never denounced AS THEY ARE NEVER MENTIONED!!!! They are also not spoken of in the church’s Doctrine and Covenants or Pearl of Great Price (the others or the church’s scriptures in addition to the Bible).
In addition, not one man or woman in the entire Book of Mormon is ever mentioned to live the law of polygamy. That was a law lived by most of the Old Testament patriarchs. It was also lived by at least 5% of all men in the western United States in the 1800′s, while no more than 3% of LDS men ever lived in polygamous relationships.
Those “polygamous values,” by the way, were lived by Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, and many others in the Old Testament.
There is also no mention anywhere in the Latter Day Saint religion about receiving a planet full of sex slaves when you die. You either made this up or found it in some anti-Mormon literature. It is never stated in any verifiable source.
You would not ask a football player to describe the infield fly rule. You would not question a fry cook on how to rebuild a transmission. You would not question a Buddhist to learn the pecepts of the Popul Vul. I’d suggest you ask a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints before you start spouting tired, disproved, ancient cliches about their church.
Oh, and by the way…. your boy Obama is the worst president this country has ever had (and Bush Jr., Carter, and Buchanan are #2, #3, and #4). This “conservative propaganda” is no worse than the tripe the media is trying to shove down our throats about the “hope and change” of Obama, the man who is single handedly bankrupting the country.
You may also wish to note that I was a registered Democrat from 1979 to 2006, when I became independent. The party of my past was replaced by socialism in an attempt to strengthen the entitlement class and buy votes.
I detest Romney (and, yes, I am a Mormon). I will, however, vote for him as the lesser of two evils.