by Bargis Tryhol on 15/07/12 at 3:31 am
Top nine reasons why me, Barack Obama, your humble and abiding President dislikes that rich Republican-for-life Mitt Romney.
1. Yuck! Why he’s a successful and a self-made businessman. His Dad didn’t give him a hand-out, so he and Ann had to make it on their own. When Mitt’s father died, he gave the entire inheritence to charity. Whatta chump!
2. Mitt’s Been married to ONE woman his entire life, and has been faithful to her. Now, that’s B-O-R-I-N-G!
3. No personal or business related scandals or skeletons in his closet. No father who was a commie and anti-capitalist…No mother who spread her legs for anyone who just stepped off the Africa boat…Not even an upbringing of religious hatred taught at a madrassa in a foreign country.
4. Mitt and Ann Romney have plenty of money (made it all by himself too without the government helping) and since nobody else in this country has any desire to have plenty of money without our assistance down here in Washington, I don’t like him!
5. Yes, Mitt and Ann as a family of great boys….None of them are in drug rehab, or part of an Occupy Wall Street group, and stay out of trouble. Gee! Are these guys plastic or what?
6. Get this, Mitt doesn’t smoke (even in secret like me), or does he drink alcohol, or do drugs. Not even in college, where guys like me had a drug smoking club called the Choom gang! How can you trust a guy who never got high?
7. Old Mitt just represents an America of “yesterday”, where people believed in God, went to Church, didn’t screw around, worked hard, and became a SUCCESS! We can’t relate to such an anachronism, he stinks of responsibility and self reliance! I bet he never worked as a community organizer and got lazy people motivated to walk on down to the Social Security and Welfare office and demand their fair share!
8. Oh yes…..He’s a MORMON. That horrible religion that teaches its
members to be clean-living, patriotic, fiscally conservative, charitable, self-reliant, honest, upright and MORAL!
Ha Ha, when I first heard that he was a Mormon, I immediately thought M-O-R-O-N…Only an uptight white dude with a small dick would be like this guy…He ain’t even cool like me! I bet he does a real poor southern accent when talking in front of black groups
9. I bet he’s still one to believe that America is great or something. I even bet he thinks Islam isn’t the religion of love and peace..Whatta dummy! Yeah, he says we liberals aren’t patriotic, but he’s never been to Chicago to see our liberals who are soooo patriotic, the deads ones get up from the grave and vote…Sometimes more than once!
And one more point while the teleprompter is still warmed up…..Those really cool and non-biased MSNBC pundits say because of his wealth, he can’t relate to ordinary Americans. I guess that’s because he made that money ALL BY HIMSELF…..as opposed to marrying it (as in John Kerry) or inheriting it from Dad (as in Jack, Robert & Ted Kennedy.) We Democrats fully understand that actually working at a job and earning your own money makes a guy like Romney un-relatable to us ordinary Americans. I bet this guy never visited Chicago!
Yup, that Romney dude is certainly strange and I hate him.