Chicago Land: Mayor Emanuel in Forefront to Stamp Out Voter Fraud; Death Certificate Now Required to Register !
by captain america on 29/09/12 at 3:23 amChicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)
Jumping to the lead on a campaign spearheaded by Left Leaning Satirical Web site Glossy Arsed News (GAN), Mayor Rahm Emanuel said he’s putting his ballet pump down on (alleged) voter fraud after decades of (alleged) abuse in the Democratic Party stronghold. (sic, sic & sic)
“I want to make this perfectly clear,” he stated in front of a packed house of community organizers before they were released on the city in a ‘Get Out the Moron Vote’. “The Democratic Party is for fairness and equality, and Dead People should have their dignity maintained even after they’ve departed. But that doesn’t excuse them not showing their Death Certificate in order to register to vote! Remember, by voting, the memory of those departed will live on forever!”
A reporter from GAN who identified himself only as “Refried and Half Baked” applauded the Mayor’s decision.
“The Staff at GAN has been working on this initiative ever since we found out that there was never any indication of voter fraud in any of this country’s large Democratic controlled cities; we just want to keep it this way by being out front on the issue, especially prior to the recount in January!”
A fact checker at Satire World said ‘Refried’ wasn’t being completely truthful, as voting records showed he was registered to vote ‘LibTard” in at least 4 states including
Alaska, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Florida, and exercised his option on numerous occasions.
In addition to his stringer position reporting on politics for GAN, FOIA reports just released after a 32 month wait indicate he has been employed as a PR speechwriter for former Fl congressman Al ‘car wreck” Grayson, and Debbie “Jew Bag” Wasserman Shultz the self proclaimed Princess noted for unceasing fund raising before and after services at Florida Temples of worship.
Chanting “Obama, Obama, Obama ,Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm’ the group of ‘African American Warriors for Obama’ dispersed from the pep rally loaded with voter registration forms, along with new applications for the popular Obama preprogrammed phone. As one Warrior said, “you can call Obama direct to get a piece of his stash! He jist be waitin’ for your call right after ya’ll vote!”
GAN stringer Howard Worth was not available for comment as he was recently terminated for cause over his bar tab run up in a strip club in Gary, Indiana, where he was said to be investigating Margaret Thatcher’s part in bankrupting US
Steel by breaking the steel union.