by captain america on 28/10/12 at 1:45 pmLondonstan (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
In a sparkling testament to testosterone and heterosexual preference, London proved today that ‘Yes, Harold, American Football lives in the UK!
Despite the mayhem on the field, stadium security was relaxed, with no yob like incidents made common during regular 1-1 boring contests between the likes of Manchester United and Manchester City.
Said Patriot’s fan Fergus McFarthling, “there’s lots of action on the field, innit…no body gets bored in the stands and feel they have to git involved in a tribal punch up over a spilled Stella or two, Eh?”
The Patriots say they were overwhelmed by signs of local support from local ‘football’ WAGS who greeted them at Grosvenor House Hotel upon their arrival shouting for Tom Brady, Wes Welker and
Ron ‘Gronk’ Gronkowski to come over to Hyde Park and sign their thongs.
Said one Patriot line backer, “Wow…these gals seem to be starved for some real red blooded American attention…wot’s up, is everybody gay over here?”
In another behind the scene story playing out, the Los Angeles rams who took on the Patriots today are owned by the majority stockholder of Arsenal, Stan Kroenke, who is under fire by Brit fans for his team’s performance.
That lack of performance was highlighted by their 2-0 defeat to German team Schalke when sports writers deemed their defense ‘insipid’ and called out several players for uninspired play. The defeat marked the first time in 9 years Arsenal was defeated on their home turf by a foreign side.
Insiders close to Arsenal ownership says that the Board of Directors is seriously considering pulling out of World Cup soccer due to rowdy fans, over paid spoiled foreign players bought and sold like Angela Jolie’s adopted children, and rising legal costs involving car crashes, women bashing, and drunken brawls by their players.
“We’re coddling a bunch of children,” said one Arsenal official. “They have no idea how to act like men in a civilized society, and frankly, I think it’s time to pull the plug and concentrate on American Football, regardless of the effect on circulation for most of the country’s Red Tops. They’ll just have to find something else to write about. Maybe they should spend a bit more time on the BBC , Jimmy Savile and opposite sex relationships!”
Sally Bercow was seen draped in an American Flag while sitting in the Speaker’s Box and waving a Tom Brady jersey. A keen eyed observer noted that Sally appeared to be sporting erect nipples under her light covering in the cool breeze.
28-7 Patriots at Half Time!