by Jalapenoman on 31/12/12 at 6:01 am
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com)
Tony Romo didn’t change his spots (like the proverbial panther) and led the Cowboys to their annual choke in the last game of the NFL season. Needing a win to make the playoffs, the Dallas quarterback threw three interceptions to winning defensive players on the Washington Redskins. He also completed only 50% of his passes (16% less than his season average).
While Minnesota Viking quarterback Christian Ponder seems to have beaten the Romo jinx by marrying a hot blonde and having her at the game (watching him win his last four games of the season), Romo still can’t get past his Jessica Simpson experiences of several seasons ago and win the big game.
The epic choke rate of Romo begin in his first season as a starter, when he fumbled the snap on a last minute field goal to win in Seattle. It continued through last season, when a win in either of their final two games would have sent the Cowboys to the playoffs (he threw two fourth quarter interceptions against the Giants last year to lose that one).
Jerry Jones, the owner of the team and the only voluntary Romo supporter on the planet, responded to the game by saying “Didn’t Tony throw a great touchdown pass to Witten in the second quarter? I think he should have made the Pro Bowl this year, even with his nineteen interceptions this season.”
Jason Garrett, the “yes man” coach who is paid to kiss Jerry’s ass at all opportunities, echoed Jones’ words when he said “we wouldn’t have had a chance in this game if it hadn’t been for Tony and his interceptions. He managed to target those passes to receivers from both teams on an equal basis. He didn’t show any preference based on jersey color, but just zipped those passes in there to both teams! What a teams player!”
The Dallas Cowboys, of course, won’t draft a quarterback next year and plan on using Romo until his Social Security kicks in.