Blountstown,Florida Disappears from Google Map! Now Shown as ‘Area 52!”

by on 27/01/13 at 9:08 am

Waitress Lucinda Belk says it was a strange feeling driving to work on Wednesday morning and suddenly find the pavement endind at what was once the Blountstown city limit sign. I was pissed, I mean, like I showered and rolled my hair expecting to work that day! No one said the town was moving!"

Waitress Lucinda Belk says it was a strange feeling driving to work on Wednesday morning and suddenly finding the pavement ending at what was once the Blountstown city limit sign. “I was pissed, I mean, like I showered and rolled my hair expecting to work that day! No one said the town was moving and renamed Area 52!” She did say ‘that UN guy from Pakistan’ was cute!

Blountstown, FL- (SatireWorld.com)

The small panhandle town that sparked a gold rush after nuggets were found strewn all over farmer Van Peebles farm, has apparently disappeared!

Any reference to the town, Van Peebles, gold, and aliens, have disappeared from Wikepedia, and attempts to pinpoint the town and Parker’s Creek on Google Map are fruitless.

Where Blountstown once appeared, bordering Pensacola Air Base, there is nothing but a shaded area mysteriously coded as ‘Area 52.”

Any attempt to reach the area by vehicular transportation is stopped by uniformed UN forces that have fanned out on a 10 mile perimeter around what was once the most famous town in Florida, for at least 15 minutes and several SW stories!

Satire World, which broke the story on the gold find, has managed to regain contact with at least one remaining resident of the town via short wave radio, and what we have learned will stagger Americans.

According to our contact, a survivalist with advanced counter terrorism and jungle training, the town was over run in the middle of the night just 3 days ago by a well coordinated envelopment of armed military claiming to be a UN Peace Keeping force lead by a Kenyan Colonel and backed with Somalian mercenaries and Egypt Jihadists.

Within hours most of the residents had been rousted from their bed and loaded on shrouded UN military trucks and hauled off to as yet undisclosed locations for ‘debriefing’ according to a spokesman for the UN force, identified only as “Comrade George (Obama).”

Word from inside the town is that a small, but determined group of Dooms Day Preppers, reportedly about 75, had managed to ‘bug out’ due to early warning devices alerting them to the zero dark 30 assault.

The assumption by the last hold outs is that the occupation is part of a larger scheme to take over the precious metal town and claim all the loot for the government in its larger ‘redistribution scheme’ pronounced by President Obama in his inaugural speech which laid out his long term goals to further divide the country and turn it into a one party rule dictatorship.

Shortly after ‘Comrade George’ announced that Van Peebles had been found drowned in Parker’s Creek, according to the occupiers weighted down with 226 lbs of pure gold nuggets, the resistance force announced that Peebles was alive and well armed and ‘would protect my claim to my last bullet!”

Drones owned and controlled by Satire World flying over the site report isolated signs of resistance with small arms fire, occasional rocket grenades, and sightings of several attackers being impaled on pungi sticks in cleverly concealed pits along paths to Parkers Creek.

Reports that the resistance is operating out of over 26 miles of underground tunnels and spider holes have been discounted by the Occupiers as they urge the hold outs to give themselves up.

Our drone managed to pick up some of the pleas broadcast from government trucks; “Come forward and turn your self in, we’re from the government and we’re here to help!”

According to another source, Obama has called on NJ Governor Chris Christie to appear in the town and also assure that they’ll be safe, and as soon as all ‘the red tape’ is cut, everything will go back to normal.

Even as most of the town’s homes are being burned to the ground, a convoy of FEMA trucks have been seen streaming into the area bringing hundreds of contaminated trailers never occupied since Katrina into the area, apparently to get ready for what appears to be a fairly long term occupation.

Even Fox News crack reporter Ed Henry was shocked when at a press conference a SW reporter asked White House spokesman Jay Blarney(sic) about the disappearance of Blountstown and the alleged occupation.

Blarney stonewalled our reporter saying, “Blountstown gone? Reports of a UN force occupying it and burning down houses? Even if it was true, it’s because of the video showing all that gold lying around to be picked up and is the result of a mob led by the Tea Party…greedy BASTARDS!”

“Besides, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE NOW?”

Reports of a relief column assembled in Orlando, Jacksonville, Tallahassee and Okeechobee heading to the area armed to the teeth and led by Colonel Allen West to liberate the town have not been confirmed, but are believed accurate.

Leading the column is an Abrams Battle Tank donated by SW Editor Bargis Tryhol from his extensive collection of military memorabilia.

Breitbart news is reporting that congressman Alan Grayson and DNC chairman Debbie Wasserman Schultz have been placed under arrest and being held under charges of Treason, insurrection, malfeasance in office, and crimes against nature including bestiality.

Live coverage from the battle zone can be seen streaming from the Satire World Network at WWW.America My Home Sweet Home.com.



2 Responses to “Blountstown,Florida Disappears from Google Map! Now Shown as ‘Area 52!””

  1. Bargis

    Jan 27th, 2013

    bestiality you say?
    I guess it would be if DWS and Grayson had sex with each other

  2. captain america

    Jan 27th, 2013

    ….all they need is A. Weiner between them for a crap sandwich…

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