Britain Tops List as Country With Most Sexually Transmitted Diseases In Western Europe

by on 14/02/13 at 5:27 pm

Two British lads from Portsmouth, Ian Youngs (l) and Gary Hoady(r), tested positive for trench mouth IV after a routine exam by a school physician. They were immediately quarantined and had all their teeth removed in a 5 minute procedure.

Two British lads from Portsmouth, Ian Younge (l) and Gary Hoady(r), tested positive for trench mouth IV after a routine exam by a school physician. They were immediately quarantined and had all their teeth removed in a 5 minute procedure.

ALWAYS LOOKING FOR PROTECTION AGAINST DISEASES UK drivers now clamor for auto-douching options now offered in the 2018 Bentley and Range Rovers

ALWAYS LOOKING FOR PROTECTION AGAINST DISEASES
UK drivers now clamor for auto-douching options now offered in the 2018 Bentley and Range Rovers

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London (UK) – (satireworld.com)

According to new UK government reports, there are nearly 20 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections each year in Britain. The number is remarkable simply because there are only 63 million people in Britain.

The British Academy for Disease Control and Prevention reported that nearly half of these new infections occur in people between ages 11 and 74.

Researchers also found that there are 110,197,000 cases of STIs in total in the United Kingdom right now, including those occurring in people who newly contracted an infection and those who have been living with an infection. Young people between ages 11 and 74 make up more than 70 percent of the overall cases of both new and established infections. Since the population is 63 million the excess numbers of STI cases show that most have more than one disease.

The human papillomavirus, or HPV, was the most common STI observed by the researchers…it comprised 71 percent of all the current infections (including new and old infections), and 72 percent of new infections. Most people infected seem to be men between the ages of 52 and 67, many of which are frequent beer drinkers.

CDC epidemiologist and lead researcher of the new findings, Catherine Lindsey-Satterwhite, told BBC News that the UK has “an ongoing, severe, STI epidemic.” She later reiterated that beer drinkers who imbide on a regular basis often drink so much they’ll stick their heads too far into a public toilet to vomit. “That’s when the easiest infections seem to happen.”

The new findings are based on two new studies published in the British Journal of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and details the most recent data on STIs from 2010. Researchers looked at data on new cases and overall prevalence in past studies of eight common sexually transmitted infections, including HPV, hepatitis B, HIV, trichomoniasis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes.

“In 40% of UK males it’s not uncommon to find all these diseases in their bodies, so much in fact, we recommend that these men use a latex glove when masturbating.”



One Response to “Britain Tops List as Country With Most Sexually Transmitted Diseases In Western Europe”

  1. Captain america

    Feb 15th, 2013

    …and lets not overlook the scandal announced concerning the contamination of horse cock leading to the dreaded
    SPOTTED DICK, EH?

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