North Korea Promises ‘Retaliatory March’ Against US Soil

by on 07/03/13 at 11:58 am

International experts agree....North Korea bides the time of its citizens by having them march in unison for days on end. One North Korean Army regular claims he spent his entire military career marching 24 hours a day.

International experts agree….North Korea bides the time of its citizens by having them march in unison for days on end. One North Korean Army regular claims he spent his entire military career marching 24 hours a day.

Somewhere in North Korea – (SatireWorld.com)

North Korea threatened the United States on Thursday with a preemptive ‘retalitory march’ by 100,000 North Korean soldiers, raising the level of rhetoric while the U.N. Security Council considers new sanctions against the reclusive country.

North Korea has accused the United States of using military drills in South Korea as a launch pad for a nuclear war and has scrapped the armistice with Washington that ended long marches by weary soldiers in the 1950-53 Korean Marcher’s War.

North Korea, which has one major ally, neighboring China, threatens the United States and its “puppet”, South Korea, on an almost daily basis.

“Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war, we will be exercising our right to preemptive march against the headquarters of the aggressor in order to protect our supreme interest,” the North’s foreign ministry spokesman said in a statement carried by the official KCNA news agency.

North Korea conducted a 72 hour continuous march of over 100,000 soldiers who paraded around the North Korean capitol in an endless circle on November 28th, in defiance of U.N. resolutions, and declared it had achieved progress in securing a functioning march against evil. It is widely believed the North does not have the capacity to deliver that many marching soldiers on the mainland United States since water-proof boots are in short supply.

North Korea stunned the world in 2004 by holding 17 straight days of parades and floats that started at the Yalu River and ended up at the DMZ. Estimates of more than 23 million people took place in that rigourous march that fully mobilized the entire population of the North.

In other news, President Obama surprised his party regulars by admitting on the Piers Morgan Show that, indeed, there is a ‘marching gap’ between US forces and the North Koreans and promises to place more pressure on House Republicans to pass additional taxation so the military can catch up and close the marching gap.



One Response to “North Korea Promises ‘Retaliatory March’ Against US Soil”

  1. Shanna Carson

    Mar 7th, 2013

    Many dictators try to maitain an artificial unity in their country by mobilizing public opinion against an external enemy, and they need to invent such an enemy when there is none… It distracts people from the bad situation prevailing in their own country. North Korea is a good example of that logic.

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