by captain america on 11/03/13 at 8:07 am
The White House – (SatireWorld.com)
Following his 6 episode golf series “The Haney Project’, white house staffers have announced President Obama’s outreach to ‘bitter clingers’ as he takes shooting lessons with outspoken conservative outdoorsman Ted Nugent on a new TV series tentatively titled “Drive By Hunting.”
According to the pilot show Ted takes Barry in hand and try’s to ween him off “Drone Killing” by getting his finger off joy sticks, and into the trigger guard of a variety of weapons ranging from 2 shot derringers, up to and including, a customized ‘street sweeper’
in the event Obama ever decides to retire and move back to Chicago.
As Ted says in the introduction, “the man, like most left wing idiots , doesn’t believe in the 2nd amendment, but of course, he has spent his whole life being protected, first by his mentors in education and progressive doctrine, and now in public office where he rides in bullet proof cars and is surrounded by a battalion of heavily armed personal protection agents. He’s also got a bad habit of ‘shooting from the hip’, no wonder he’s missed every goal he’s set out to achieve!”
“And by the way, you’ll notice he never takes any vacations to the country’s ‘free fire hot zones’ like his Chicago home town, Detroit, Atlanta, Oakland, Houston or New Orleans. Nope, it’s Hawaii, Martha’s Vineyard, the ski slopes of Aspen, and well protected golf links in Maryland and Florida!”
Adding to the dialogue Ted continued, “And by the way, you’ll notice he never invites Joe Biden to go Skeet Shooting with him since he realizes Joe is just a heart beat away from being President, and has NO CHANCE of succeeding him in 2016!”
In the opening episode Ted is seen outfitting Barry during a shopping trip to Orvis and later at a downtown Dallas Army & Navy store where they pick up a full complement of Berets, camo clothing, foot wear, and a collection of Turkey Calls which Obama said he can use in the Oval Office to summon his advisors.
While Barry lingered over an assortment of battlefield medals including the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, (CIB)the Bronze star with V for valor, purple hearts, and the Watts Campaign Medal, Ted told him quite plainly, “that’s one thing you can’t buy Mr. President….you have to earn them!”
Producers of the show, which will air on Al Jazerra network sometime just before the 1014 mid term elections, said the first episode will concentrate on teaching the President the safe handling of fire arms including checking there is no round in the chamber, never pointing a weapon at by standers, and never threatening conservative reporters or internet sites like Satire World with a gun unless you mean to use it.
Bob Woodward, Bargis Tryhol and Captain America all agreed, “this is probably a good place to start for a guy with no knowledge of guns who wants to eliminate dissenters with just the push of a button!”
Ted said they won’t move on to ‘live fire exercises’ until he’s sure the President won’t harm himself or others and under no circumstances if the President is coming down from a “Choom” event after being delivered to the range in a closed car along with his body men Reggie Love and Van Jones.
According to Nugent the president will be subject to drug testing using procedures sampling his hair and will have to be finger printed and have a standard background check before he could even purchase his own fire arm.
“Of course there is the problem of that bogus social security number assigned to that dead person in Connecticut that will have to be cleared up first, ‘said Nugent.
Meanwhile Satire World has learned that Michelle Obama and Valerie Jarrett are planning to surprise the President with his own gold plated narco terrorist AK-47 when he passes the fire arms safety course after learning during his early days in Kenya he was called “Kalish” after the firearm that has killed more people than any weapon, and is the symbol of violent socialistic revolution though most of the world.
A spokesman for Homeland Security assured SW that they had “plenty of ammo’ for the president as “100 million rounds is more than we probably really need, though!”
According to the GAO (government accounting office) a cost study is being undertaken to convert the underground basketball court at the White House into a state of the art shooting range including life like targets reflecting the President’s ‘Enemies List.”
More Blood Curdling News as we get it.