by captain america on 20/03/13 at 10:12 amTel Aviv, Israel – (SatireWorld.com)
Continuing his endless fund raising campaign, President Obama, “Bernie” to his Jewish friends in Hollywood, and “Sean” to his Black Irish friends in Boston, headed out on his latest
“Charm Offensive’ to Israel.
Political Science students at the University of Chicago, and USC Berkley, are said to be ‘along for the ride’ as interns to see how the ‘shape shifting’ President goes about his business in subverting the democratic process for the benefit of his Muslim friends intent on bringing the world under Sharia rule.
In a well orchestrated ‘love in’ for the President in Israel, staffers are on a mission to ‘back door’ (known as Franking to Mass-holes) Prime Minister Netanyahu and have the President appeal directly to the Israeli populace through a series of Free Pop Concerts involving Barbra Streisand, Beyonce, and country star, song writer, and comedian ‘Kinky’ Friedman whose signature song ‘They ain’t makin’ Jews like Jesus anymore’ never got much play in Jackson’s and Sharpton’s Harlem, but did inspire them to incite rioting, burning, looting and genocide against Jewish store owners.
Following a recent exclusive story on Satire World, this will be the first overseas trip for Chris Christie, the President’s newly appointed ‘Food Taster’, who will be taking up 3-across seating in Air Force 1 leading critics to complain, “SOMETHINGS NOT KOSHER HERE!”
Christie leaves behind a still devastated Jersey Shore after storm Sandy, with only Snooki looking forward to the future as she announced she wants to have twins fathered by the former governor and conceived ‘under the board walk in Asbury Park,’ the once famous trysting place for the sexually active students from the Class of ’55 at the Oakhurst Grammar School.
Former students identified only as LJ, DK and AL all reminisced about the once romantic site in a recent reunion remembering ‘the good olde days’, with LJ commenting,’ I still remember wrestling around and getting sand in her Schlitz!”
Obama is also said to be bringing the offer of more aid to the populace promising to set up a new food stamp education and redemption center for ‘poor jews’, and delivering over 50,000
ObamaStein phones to US expats who he considers an important political base and source of ‘off shore fundraising.”
“Some of my biggest bundlers are Jews living abroad,’ said ‘Bernie’ as he addressed members of the Israeli press while spreading creme cheese and Lox on his breakfast Bagel.
On the political front Bernie vowed to contain Iran’s continued advancement in Nuclear technology which their leaders wowed would ‘wipe the face of the earth from Zionist Control,’
‘when I get around to it!”
Accompanying the President was a company of Special Forces, an armored tank division, 450 bomb sniffing dogs, and his personal ‘pit bull’ Valerie Jarrett, who is along to discuss
the formation of ‘low income ghetto housing’ along the Palestinian border based on her success of creating live fire ‘no go zones’ on the South Side of Chicago.
Senator Diane Feinstein, along for the ride, said she was pleased to see that 99% of Israeli citizens went armed, including all the women seen strapped up with an Uzi even when sun bathing in Thongs on the beach. Feinstein lauded Senate majority leader Harry Reid for defeating the Republican push to restrict gun ownership in the US saying, “America should model itself after Israel…More guns, less Crime…I’ve been preaching that for years but they just don’t want to listen! ”
In an effort to restart his political career, Anthony Weiner re-tweeted pictures of his Penis to the populace on late night TV with the caption, “Kiss it, I’m Kosher and running for Mayor of Hymie Town!”
Yasser Arafat’s widow said she’ll be boycotting the President’s visit saying, “I’m still trying to find where my husband hid all the money he got from the UN and the Clintons!”