Support for Broken Boston Pours in from White House: Obama Promises ‘flyover’ Soon to Show Support!

by on 16/04/13 at 5:36 am

Air Force One flew over and wiggled its wings in solidarity with the people of Boston

Air Force One flew over and wiggled its wings in solidarity with Boston

Boston,MA – (

While president Barack Obama has yet to make a public appearance concerning the apparent terror attack in Boston leaving several dead and at least a hundred maimed, the White House announced that in a show of support and solidarity he would commission a symbolic ‘flyover’ in Air Force 1 on his way to California for another fundraiser at the home of Sean Penn.

Valerie Jarrett, Obama’s sexual surrogate in the administration, said that ‘a simple waggle of the wings should suffice to show the President feels their pain and also give a shout out to the Boston Red Sox who have started the season at a .600 winning clip.

Jarrett hastened to add however, the show of support did not extend as far as the Boston Celtics leading up to the NBA playoffs.

Jarrett also said the President is considering expanding his gun control advocacy to ‘domestic terrorists who continue to fool around with bombs made in their kitchen despite federal laws prohibiting this part time religious practice!”

Obama’s plan is said to prohibit the purchase of nitrate fertilizer over 1 lb. 6 ounces, no more than 6 ball bearings, or pre paid cell phone purchases used only for detonating remote bombs without a license.

“We’ll have a form to cover all that,” said Obama, “no one will slip through the cracks after they get registered, plus they’ll have to pay a license fee which should discourage them from continuing their actions and pay for the new enforcement division I’m creating by executive order.”

Several governors from liberal leaning states said they will require all home grown terrorists to register, much like foreign lobbyists, but unlike muslim exchange students who don’t ever enroll in classes and never go home again whilst plotting to blow up things and folks in the US.

The Pakistani cab drivers union in NYC promptly lodged a complaint with the civil rights division of the DOJ, and were strongly supported by the ACLU, not to mention editorial support from Al Gore’s recently purchased TV station by Al Jazerra and lead talk show host Keith ‘el cid’ Olbermann.

A spokesman for the ACLU, leading defense attorney Allen Wasserman Schlitz, is currently defending the human rights of Brooklyn cab driver Ali Ka Boom Ba, who was arrested after traveling down a one way street with 500 pounds of cow manure, 6 cell phones, 100 energizer batteries, and 2,000 ball bearings in the trunk of his 1957 Chrysler New Yorker with his ‘off duty’ light on and a phony cab medallion on his glove box which identified him as Martin Shuttlecock, with a local address in
Stony Brook, Long Island and a summer home in Manchester, England during the ‘dry season.’

Police detective Dominick Bologna said they followed up with Shuttlecock who professed ignorance, but couldn’t remember where he had left his 1957 Chrysler gypsy cab unless it was at the
Irish Oasis Bar & Grill in Atlantic City, NJ during a ‘lost weekend.’

As an aside Detective Bologna, a 32 year veteran of the force commented, “when I talked to him I could see the wheel was still spinning, but unfortunately the hamster was dead as a hake!”

Obama vowed to find out who committed the terrorist act and place them in a US court of law in front of a jury of their peers, even if he had to rendition some additional Saudi Oil sheiks from the oil fields ‘over there.’

More if Obama gets it, but as Hillary famously said, “what difference does it make NOW!”

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