by Bargis Tryhol on 28/04/13 at 5:18 amIslamisbad, Pakistan -(SatireWorld.com)
Reality TV’s latest offering is sure to raise eyebrows and a few tempers as season one of The Real Housewives of Islamabad makes its way to the small screen. Shot on location in Pakistan’s capitol, Islamabad, the first of sixteen segments is set to begin final editing as soon as goat herding and shearing process’ finalize sometime after the winter birthing season for three of the woman who comprise half of the six main characters.
Filmed in typical Pakistani mud and wood homes, all six characters have promised to use western names in order to protect their true identity. A similar TV project last fall by the BBC resulted in all the women suffering beatings by their husbands, rendering them un-filmable because of swollen lips, acid burns to their faces, and several broken noses.
The first segment has the women (Cora, Britney, Alice, Frenchie, Salome, and Dawn) shopping at a local food bazaar while wearing a typical Muslim burka. Of course like other Pakistani women they have dirty-feet children in tow. The women are identified on-screen by subtitles as they barter for the best prices for dried goat head, baked flatbread, and fly-infested milk products.
The series promises a few surprising twists as in episode one, when Cora accuses Salome of stealing goat milk from her storage bladder, and Dawn flys off the handle at a catty remark made by Frenchie concerning the size of Dawn’s rear end and how it ‘shakes the burka’ when she walks. Alice finds a condom in her husband’s wallet and uses it to make a goat and cheese sausage which results in a mild but prolonged beating by husband Ali.
In episode two,Alice is scared when her husband unloads a full magaine from his AK-47 into the home’s thatched roof monentarily scaring everyone including the film crew who are panicked when the roof catches fire. They rush to put out the spreading flames because the local firetruck has been broken down for six months.
In episode three, Britney is shocked to hear her husband has joined the Taliban and fears for her life if he ever discovers she’s plucked her eyebrows and took a bath way before summer. Alice finds a 1978 Playboy magazine hidden under her husband’s bed and is troubled about the photos. Dawn, Frenchie, and Cora show off their recent birthing results. Frenchie is dismayed over the vast amount of facial hair on her newborn daughter.
Episode Four touches on a seemingly universal problem with rebelious teenaged children when Dawn finds out her oldest son Amul, age 15, has taken the family’s flying carpet out for joy rides without permission. Cora finds semen stains on her 14 year old daughter’s burka and forbids her from listening to any western 8-track cassettes after meal time and takes away all her Wayne Newton cassettes as punishment. Alice discovers she’s pregnant again with number 13. Britney’s husband Mohammed approaches her with the idea of having western silicone implants to enhance her breast size from a 34C to a 38DD. Tensions rise when Mohammed insists that Haji can do the implants cheaper at his leather shop down at the bazaar then at Islamisbad General Hospital.
Episode Five. Dawn and daughter Tashi go missing for several hours. Cora hurts her knee chasing a camel from her driveway. Frenchie discovers her husband has ‘other interests.’ Dawn’s son Amul is discouraged trying to find a suicide vest that fits. Salome shows her husband her new red thong from Victoria’s Secret and he promptly goes into cardiac arrest.
The Real Housewives of Kabul will be shown on cable TV’s Discovery Channel beginning in tonight. Viewer discretion is advised.