by Jalapenoman on 29/04/13 at 5:40 amDMZ-North Korea – (SatireWorld.com)
North Korean Leader Kim Jun Un has ordered 1000 pressure cookers to be shipped to Pyongyang, according to a sales report released by Amazon.com. The dimunitive dictator, said a spokesman for the company, is either “wanting a bunch of kim chee really fast or is going to try to copycat the Boston bombings.”
Kim Jung Un, who has threatened the United States with a missile launch and says that a state of war exists between the two countries, has yet to have one of his rockets go further than one hundred miles. There is speculation that the pressure cooker order may shown a change in tactics and signal that he has given up on his idea of bombing the U.S. into submission with missiles.
The North Korean leader was unavailable for comment as he was watching the NBA playoffs and switching channels between games. “Why Rodman no pray?” was heard to be screamed from his office. “I want see Rodman brock shots of American Imperiarist Rebron James!”
This publication has also learned that workers at a North Korean sweatshop are also busy making 1000 black nylon backpacks to hold the potential pressure cooker bombs. This order, however, may be cancelled as the credit card used to order the pressure cookers was declined.
“What you mean decrined?” asked an official of the North Korean government. “We stear credit card fair and square in internet pyramid scheme!”
As a fallback plan, scientists, zookeepers, and interpreters from Pyongyang were said to be enlisting the navy to help them located “Godzirra” and direct him to “Ros Angeres.”
In a related story, Kim Jung Un ordered execution for members of the North Korean National Basketball Team. The group, composed of fifteen players all under 5’6″, lost all of their games in a recent international tournament. To make matters worse, the fact that the tournament was one for girls teams gave his government a black eye and brought shame to his country.