by Philbert of Macadamia on 14/06/13 at 8:34 pmWashington DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Researchers writing in the July issue of the prestigious US Journal of Thermodynamics have blamed the current US temperature increase on President Barack Obama.
The researchers found that the Obama administration scandals (presented below) have caused 200 million adult Americans blood pressure to increase and for these people to get “hot” under the collar. A person generates a heat output of 100 Calories per hour reading a newspaper. A person following the Obama administration scandals in the media has their heat output increased to 1,000 Calories per hour. Thus, an additional 180 billion Calories per hour is put into the atmosphere, increasing the air temperature.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney responded for President Obama who was out playing golf. The president feels that it is “hot” women and their effect on other men and women that are causing the temperature increase. The President will be issuing an Executive Order requiring all women government employees (including Congresswomen) to wear Burkas to alleviate this problem, an exception being the First Lady Michelle. He also plans to ask Congress to extend his Executive Order by federal law, to all adult women in the USA.
The Obama administration scandals: US Department of State Benghazi Libya US embassy Islamic terrorist attack cover-up; the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) targeting conservative and Tea Party non-profit groups; the Department of Justice persecution of Associated Press (AP)/Fox News Channel reporters; the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) leaking 80,000 farmers personal data to rabid environmental groups; the federal government having access to 310 million American citizens phone calls and internet messages; the Department of Veterans Affairs delaying and denying of veterans benefits. Don’t forget about ObamaCare; Democrats rejecting real border security before beginning the legalization process for illegal immigrants; use of secret email accounts; and FEMA denying the town of West, Texas $50 million in aid while the IRS spends $50 million on line-dancing!