Zelda Crunch to Receive the Nobel Prize

by on 23/06/13 at 3:40 pm

'Doggie Land Mines' are most apt to strike right when you step out in those brand new white Nike's!

‘Doggie Land Mines’ are most apt to strike right when you step out in those brand new white Nike’s!

Oslo Norway-(SatireWorld.com)

The Nobel Prize committee met today and decided to take back President Obama’s 2009 Nobel Prize and award it belatedly to Zelda Crunch, who really did something for world peace.

Who is Zelda Crunch, you may ask? She is a lady, who when leaving her brownstone home on the upper east side of Manhattan in May 1994 stepped into a large pile of doggie land mines. So began her crusade to have dog owners pick up after their dogs. (Michael Bloomberg was not New York City Mayor at the time, even though he is full of poop.)

In the ensuing 20 years Zelda’s simple concept has spread across the USA and the world, such that cries of “Oh Sh*t” are now strictly reserved for idiot politicians, both home and abroad. Towns and cities have enacted legislation to require this pickup action by providing plastic bags and trash receptacles to dispose of the waste.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has tried to regulate the plastic bags used for picking up the doggie waste, but Congress told the agency to keep their noses out of this “doggie business!”

One Response to “Zelda Crunch to Receive the Nobel Prize”

  1. captain america

    Jun 24th, 2013

    …bet Bloomy mandates ‘paper’ over plastic!
    ..well, at least you could leave a bag at his door and set it on fire!

    Now that’s a big “OH<SHIT!"

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