“Specific and Credible” Threat Forces Obama to Evacuate to Martha’s Vineyard!

by on 09/08/13 at 11:56 am

Several 'suspicious looking objects' were inspected by the Secret Service.  Next door neighbor, 77 year old Gladys Mumphrey claimed the box over the melon was hers simply because she didn't want her melons to get too sunburned. She was arrested and placed in a secret detention center in New York.

Several ‘suspicious looking objects’ were inspected by the Secret Service.
Next door neighbor, 77 year old Gladys Mumphrey claimed the box over the melon was hers simply because she didn’t want her melons to get too sunburned. She was arrested and placed in a secret detention center in New York.

Martha’s Vineyard, MA – (SatireWorld.com)

The first family and entire staff were evacuated from the White House after NASA confirmed an increase in ‘chatter’ from the mid east foretold an imminent ‘terror threat’ to the President!

Luckily, the President, always on his toes, already had his ‘bug out’ bag packed so it was a matter of stopping by the pro shop at Andrews Air Force base to pick up a case of Titleist Pro-V 1’s ($62 a dozen), 4 new Nike left handed golf gloves ($29.95 each), a resupply of 3 1/4 inch tees and a brand new Foot Joy rain slicker at $159.95, (the Presidential seal would be sewn on by Michelle’s seamstress during the luncheon flight to Otis Air NATIONAL GUARD base in Mashpee before hopping aboard Marine one for the short hop to his austere retreat on the Vineyard)

Along with the extended family, Obama called on his favorite ‘Body Man’ to tag along.

Said Barry, “Without Reggie (Love) I’d be lost, he’s always on call when I need someone to carry my bag and wash my balls before I tee-off!”

Just prior to his arrival, the emergency storm warning horn was blown on the Vineyard golf course alerting players, most who had laid down $500 for a leisurely round, to abandon their game and retreat to the club house for a full body cavity search prior to the arrival of the President who would be landing inconspicuously by chopper in the parking lot along with a phalanx of secret service men in golf garb carrying AR-15’s and 30 extra magazines in their Nike Golf bags.

A fleet of specially converted golf carts powered by souped up gas powered engines, stood by to flank the fairways and follow the President around the course.

A spokesman from the EPA admitted that the carts were commissioned after the secret service found that the electric carts just couldn’t cut it:”too slow, ran out of juice, and were prone to burn up…worse then even a Chevy Volt!” Deja Vu all over again?

As was extensively reported, the entire vacation retreat was on virtual lockdown and on high alert to any impending threat, heightened when Fox News announced that Megyn Kelly would be hosting the 9 PM news hour in a line up shuffle.

According to sources from SW, close to Roger Ailes, Kelly’s first show promised to blow the lid off yet another Presidential scandal, this time on the President’s personal life after Barry’s BlackBerry was hacked by associates of Julian Assange!

“We think we have the local security pretty well covered,” said Sean Bulger, head of the security detail and nephew of local crime celebrity White Bulger currently on trial for 19 murders and assorted Boston mayhem, “but we’ve been told by Valerie to keep Michelle away from him. No telling what that crazy bitch will do when she finds out what he’s been doing all those times he’s been off the radar…them straight edge razors are nasty!”

Meanwhile, the President’s Blimp, “Organizing for America (OFA) hovered over the course beaming live stream video to the Las Vegas Drone Center where a squadron of intercepters stood by to provide air cover.

Keith Olberman from ESPN reported that the President took 3 Mulligans off the first tee.

(Exactly 1 more than the American taxpayer wished for in an election ‘do over.’)

As in ‘you can’t make this up’, the President’s arrival coincided with yet another cruel joke played by the encroached Democrat political regime in Massachusetts where governor Cadillac Deval Patrick declared a ‘tax free weekend’ on the state’s punishing sales tax at the same time he instituted a 3% addition to the gas tax, $1 a pack on cigarettes, and amnesty for John Kerry for avoiding a $200,000 excise/registration tax on his custom sailing yacht christened “Heinz 57″ and known to locals as ‘The Stewed Tomato.”

Back in Moscow Putin is seen directing a group of burka clad actors sitting around with their cell phones on a conference call shouting “Hey, Obama, can you hear me now’ before collapsing in hysterical laughter!



2 Responses to ““Specific and Credible” Threat Forces Obama to Evacuate to Martha’s Vineyard!”

  1. captain america

    Aug 9th, 2013

    …kudos to the photo lab once again for a Pulitzer pix!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Aug 9th, 2013

    A C-130 is also flying in a ton of Teleprompters to be used for impromptu chats with the locals around the island.

    These devices will prevent the golfer in chief from making any contradictions about ObamaCare and the government’s spying on US citizens.

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