by Bargis Tryhol on 10/08/13 at 6:22 amNew York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
BrianWilliams without a shirt? Rachel Maddow topless? Andrea Mitchell with gravity-defying super-glued boobs? In an effort to preserve your gastro-intestinal equilibrium we’ll go easy and not post photos, but starting this Tuesday night, leading cable news loser MSNBC will have topless hosts and commentators on their live view shows starting a 8PM.
In the race to dominate cable news there are winners and losers. If you’re a newsy and happen to saddle your rising star to MSNBC, you might find stardom a bit out of reach due to network credibility problems…In other words, no one would find you as a truly believable news source!
So, what does a news network do to lift itself out of dead last in the ratings? Well, not only sell usual nightly ration of racism accusations, but throw in some steamy sex too!
Starting this Tuesday night you’ll be able to see all MSNBC commentators, guests and hosts topless! Yes, Rachael Maddox, Kate Snow, Andrea Mitchell, Al Sharpton, Chris Matthews, and maybe they’ll bring back in-house Neanderthal clown Ed Schultz as well!
During the coveted 9 PM slot, a resurrected Al Sharpton will be hosting ‘Booty News’ a half-hour show devoted entirely to fans of large asses with guest First Lady Michelle Obama who will talk about her past experiences with cheap porcelain toilets that suddenly collapsed without warning.
Getting special permission from the FTC to broadcast semi-nude people on live national television was cleared by the Obama Administration who claimed censorship of artistic expression was a violation of something or another and would issue a ruling sometime in early 2021.
In response, next to last in the cable news ratings CNN, has promised a prime time segment devoted to the day’s funniest dirty joke that will be sent in by viewers. The lucky viewer who’s joke is chosen will win a toaster.
Over at HNN, sources tell us that Robin Meade has promised to show a live segment where she’s pole dancing in stiletto heels and fish-net stockings while reading the morning’s news.
ABC’s Barbara Walters was unavailable for comment.`