DWS Refuses to touch A. Weiner, but admits she did have an erotic encounter with an Electric Eel which curled her hair!

by on 27/08/13 at 5:08 am

After almost 14 hours of steady dildoing with her plutonium-powered dildo, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz noticed her hair was curlier than usual, but felt horrified when she dfiscovered her  chipped front teeth.

After almost 14 hours of steady dildoing with her plutonium-powered titanium dildo, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is close-mouthed at her morning press conference, not about her curlier than usual hair, but she felt really embarrassed about chipping all her front teeth.

Boa Raton, FL – (SatireWorld.com)

D&C national chairman Debbie Washerwoman Schultz (DWS) refused to get drawn into taking a position on Anthony Weiner’s run for mayor of NYC saying “We’re not touching Weiner right now with so many other phony scandals to defend against!” (too many pricks in the fire, eh?)

Writing off San Diego’s disgraced Mayor ‘Filthy” Filner’s habitual sexual harassment after 20 years as a democratic congressman, Schmaltzy gave credence to Filner’s ‘retirement’ speech saying ‘he was obviously railroaded. If I had a dirty old uncle, he’d act just like fun loving Bobby!”

DWS, appearing more frizzled than usual, claimed she had spent the night in a Holliday Inn where she inadvertently plugged her dildo into a 220v outlet after the battery died.

Described on a sex toy website as “a big weiner that will put the charge back in your sex life” and endorsed by at least two members of the Supreme Court, a former Secretary of State,
Lisa Dunham, Janet Napitalano and Elizabeth Warren, a disclaimer reads that excessive use could lead to addiction and diminished mental capacity in making rational decisions or erratic speeches.Hmmmm, Hmmmm, Hmmmm.

According to the ad, the sexual aid resembles an Electrophorus, better known as an ‘Electric Eel’, and with a Plutonium powered 600 volt charge can leave you ‘quivering for up to 14 hours. Call a doctor if vibrations continue!”

Despite the side effects, the devise has been declared the ‘go to BFF for ugly Democrats” and is even being offered on the White House website in black, medium mocha,and high yellar to accommodate the full spectrum of the LBTG Obama base.

Al Gore’s web site also offers a solar powered model ‘for those on the run in Mexico where there are few electric dildo charging stations, although Gore said, “we’re working on those to coincide with service stations for Fisker and Chevy Volts to ‘full satisfy’ their 500 customers.”

Meanwhile, internationally infamous Proctologist Victor Nicholas said he’s is ‘up to his arm pit’ handling requests for Obamacare Waivers.

Said the harried specialist, “I think they’re calling the wrong guy…if you’re suffering a pain the arse from your new health care plan you should be calling the real arse hole in charge of
this crime against nature. Sorry, but I can’t lay a finger on solving your problem!”

More on up coming buggery in the White House as we lurch toward the 2014 mid term erections.

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