In Exclusive Interview “World’s Most Interesting Man” Endorses SatireWorld!

by on 10/09/13 at 9:28 am

"I have to admit, I'm jealous of Bargis."

“I have to admit, I’m jealous of Bargis….Stay frosty my friend”

The Crystal Blue Waters of the Capacian Islands – (SatireWorld.com)

On Board the MSV Conquest

Sporting a dapper blue blazer and white cotton trousers rolled up above his ankles, Fernando Monte Verde took a few moments to sit down and chat with SatireWorld reporter Phil Macadamia. In a flurry of wafting blue cigar smoke, Monte Verde spoke about being the ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’ and his ongoing admiration for SatireWorld.

Monte Verde: “As you can imagine, when I’m not buying expensive clothing, modeling my line of expensive smoking jackets, or chasing pussy around the world I do find myself with little to do. Afterall, I have a crew to maintain this fabulous 200 foot motorized sailing vessel and one of the things I just love doing is sitting down with a tawny port, a good Monte Cristo cigar, and my Ipad turned to satireworld.com.”

PoM: ” It’s a lovely yacht, but why does your all female crew wear topless bikinis with little name tags that denote her home country with a date beneath the name? I must say all of the women are gorgeous !”

Monte Verde: ” I collect beautiful women who serve my every need while at sea, which is mostly all the time now. The name tags show which country I picked them up from and the year…Like fine wine or a wonderful port. I like to kid the new ones about how I’ll ‘pop their cork’!”

PoM: “What intrigues you about SatireWorld, Fernando?”

Monte Verde: “Truthfulness and Throckmorton Turdblossom’s ‘Country Boy Advice’ section…I almost poop my white trousers every time I hear T.T. give his common sense advice, plus, those awful rubes that ask the questions are beyond belief! Actually, now that you’re here I’d like to extend an invitation to Throcky to take a ten day cruise with me on the Conquest. That Captain America fellow is something else as well, but he needs to get laid more, so he can tag along with Throcky.”

PoM: “I’ll pass that on to Throcky and the Cap. I’m sure they’ll both appreciate the invitation. I’ll mention the Viagra vending machine too.”


PoM:
” It’s rumored, especially from scores of attractive young women around the world, that you interview potential crewmates personally and have them sign a contract.”


Monte Verde:
“Yes all true! They must like poety, which I write and publish…..Chess, which I’m an accredited master of the game….Wines, oh yes, they must know fine wines as well as I do…All girls must be proficient with weapons and know how to hunt dangerous game…Of course, they must be able to, well, do the nastiest things in bed!”

PoM: (chuckling) “Well, Fernano old boy seems you have all your bases covered there!”

Monte Verde: “Of course, afterall I am the World’s Most Interesting Man, plus I’m rich…Horney…And a chauvanistic pig! Yes, I admit it and when I do openly admit it women just swoon.”

PoM:
“It’s also been mentioned that you have expensive cologne circulating in your system and not blood like mere mortal men…Is that true?”

Monte Verde: “Yes, it’s true..women just want to be near me and inhale…Of course, I’m more concerned if they swallow more than inhale… if you catch my drift.”

As the conversation lulled into sips of imported port and slow puffs on cigars,a topless woman walked over to us. As she got closer I could see her name tag…’Miss France 2010.’ She took out a long silver lighter and re-lit Fernando’s cigar and poured each of us a fresh drink. As she leaned over the table, her right breast dunked into Monte Verde’s glass, coating her lily-white breast in deep red port. As she walked away, a dribble of the expensive port ran down and dripped, staining her white bikini bottom. It seemed so nonchalant to her and what must be a normal, everyday event on the Conquest for Monte Verde.

Monte Verde: “Gotta get rid of Miss France. She’s slipping lately. Last week her boob drew lines wider than a Barack Obama line-in-the-sand on a plate of elegant pate at the dinner table while I was entertaining the King and Queen Mudder of Serbia! Next week we’ll be anchoring off of Crete and I’ll send Miss France to the harbor markets for some fresh vegetables and then hoist anchor and ski-daddle!”

PoM: “So, what got you interested in SatireWorld in the first place?”

Monte Verde: “To be honest, it was an article I read in a Hungarian Men’s magazine. It was about the ‘Man With The World’s Largest Penis.’ Of course, being the proficient coxman that I am, I was interested in knowing more about this Bargis Tryhol person. I Googled his name and found the SatireWorld site…From there, I guess you can say I was hooked and impressed as well! I mean, it’s not everday you meet a big a prick as this Bargis guy, right?”

Pom: “Errrrr Right on that! Well, we have to wrap things up here. I know you’re a busy man and all that.”

Monte Verde: “Thank you for being most gracious and remember….Stay Frosty My Friend!”



7 Responses to “In Exclusive Interview “World’s Most Interesting Man” Endorses SatireWorld!”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 10th, 2013

    My phone has not stopped ringing: The NY Times, The Washington Times have offered me interviewing assignments; and Playboy magazine has offered me an interviewing job with each month’s centerfold lady.

    What a hard choice!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 10th, 2013

    P.S. thanks Bargis.

  3. captain america

    Sep 10th, 2013

    …..bet you got a tingle up your leg from checking out all the gals
    at Fernando’s pad!!!

    If the phone doesn’t ring you know it was MSNBC, NBC and Al-Zazerra…

    …go figure…Bargis gets all the Piece (sic) Prizes, we get all the Pulitzers!!

    Tried to catch his latest You-Tube …but I need a bigger screen
    on my Obama Phone….

    …goota go…another pesky drone circling the house…

    CAP

  4. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 10th, 2013

    I enjoyed the way Miss France served the imported red port during the interview.

  5. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 11th, 2013

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

  6. Throckmorton P. Turdblossom

    Sep 14th, 2013

    I will gladly accept the invitation, but am wondering how many Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders he has on staff (… I mean “on his work force… not on “his” staff).

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