by captain america on 14/09/13 at 2:28 pm
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Following in the face of the attempt by Democrats to suppress Free Speech, and journalistic excellence, Satire World editor Bargis Tryhol says he’ll now face down the “Fascists in Washington” who want to muzzle his conservative publication.
With left coast liberals like Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman leading efforts to define what a journalist is, (those in the tank for Obama), the liberals have moved on from nationalizing banks, car companies, health care, and their latest move mandating where you can live and associate with, to stamping out truth in journalism.
The new proposed mandate allows mainstream media snake oil salesmen Chris Matthews, Piers Morgan, Rachel Maddow and Al Sharpton and their ilk to promote stories with no basis in fact while being shielded from identifying their mystical sources as they continue to smear, besmirch, and vilify honest, fact finding journalists at Satire World.
Call it the New York Times Jason Blair Defense of Journalistic Plagiarism Act.
Under their ‘new world vision’ Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, Philbert of Macadamia, Throckmorton Turdblossum, Captain America, Buckwheat’s Butt, and Matt Drudge would be forced to reveal their impeccable sources on their block busting revelations of corruption and misdeeds under the Obama Administration.
Said POM, “living in Maryland is bad enough with it’s confiscatory taxes, a struggling baseball team, a corrupt state government, but this is really the straw that broke the camel’s back (NPI) not to mention my hump!”
“I’m a self employed volunteer for freedom of information while still holding down a full time job in order to contribute to fixing the potholes on the road to journalistic excellence and now the Bastards want to take away my freedom to reveal the truth?”
Phil said he no longer uses his cell phone, his home computer, or even his GPS equipped 1959 Cadillac Eldorado convertible to meet with informants.
“The bastards are hacking into me everywhere. I’m forced to use a free computer at Starbuck’s to gather and write my stories while paying $15.95 plus federal, state and city tax for a latte! ”
Throcky, currently hiding out in an abandoned Pueblo somewhere in New Mexico concurred.
“If it wasn’t for my solar powered lap top, you wouldn’t be hearing from me! I’m traveling around in a serape on Grey Hound buses and paying cash for my tacos and showers at truck stops.”
“Luckily my 2nd language is Spanish and I’m able to blend in with the majority out here..otherwise who knows what could have happened to me…I think my name is on the ‘no fly’ terrorist list and I couldn’t even get to Orlando for the writer’s conference last month!”
Captain America, vacationing in plain sight in the midst of the east coast liberal bastion on Cape Cod agreed.
“You just have to blend in and become invisible. I put a Hillary/Kerry sticker on my ’66 VW camper bus, dress in a tie-dyed T-shirt and old jeans with my arse hanging out , piss on the sidewalk and socialize (sic) around Cambridge and on Martha’s Vineyard on the weekends and pretend I’m a trust fund liberal who just sold my social media global warming site to Al Gore…just last week Spike Lee called me a ‘nice articulate, clean white boy’ and bought me a fried clam sandwich and a Sam Adams lager! Carley Simon said she was even going to write a song about me!”
Editor Tryhol, with a law degree from Farleigh Dickinson in Bergen Country, NJ, is no stranger to appearing before the bar. He successfully appeared before SCOTUS in winning the ‘hanging chad” case for George Bush, whilst also winning a discrimination suit in front of the English Court against a cabal of ‘DORKS” for bullying on an obscure British ‘humour’ site.
Bargis was famously quoted in The Sun after his victory for freedom of speech, “F***em if they can’t take a joke, eh?”
The staff is reportedly up for at least 8 Pulitzers this year:
*Best tongue in cheek reporting on Gay and Lesbian ” Rights”
*Unauthorized biography on Barney Frank: Butt Ugly in Provincetown
*Trail of Tears: The inspiring story of Elizabeth Warren’s trek to the US Senate
*Making it in America: Heart warming story of Aunti Zulu and George Obama’s
free ride in Boston including George’s plea: DON’T DEPORT ME….BRO!
*Working from Home Schemes: How free Obama phones enable you to make
$210 an hour operating a phone room selling Time Shares in Kenya
*The Tunnel of Love: the inside story of the Big Dig which continues to leak taxpayer money
*Race to the Bottom: How Satire World editorials finally ketch-up to John Kerry
*The Ambien Defense: another non-fiction barrister story in the continuing Kennedy saga involving freeway accidents, waitress sandwiches, skinny dipping, papal annulments and grave robbing.
As Bargis said, “It ain’t over till the pants suit fat ladies sing!”
Ed Note: Still unemployed UK stringer Harold Worth will not be defended in the suit due to still queueing at the NHS
in an attempt to get his unintended flatulence attacks under control. Said Harold, “I’ll jist cover me arse with me hat!”