DC Brain Drain: JFK’s Brain Gone Missing! Proctologist Enlisted to Find Obama’s!

by on 21/10/13 at 3:13 pm

Researchers tagged the wooden container...'Jack in the Box.' Some say fun loving Smithsonian staffers hooked the brain to electrodes in order to hear it sing songs from Camelot.

Researchers tagged the wooden storage container for the glass holding JFK’s brain…’Jack in the Box.’
Some say fun loving Smithsonian staffers hooked the brain to electrodes in order to hear it sing songs from the Broadway musical Camelot.

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)

An independent investigation by SW reporters has revealed that President Kennedy’s brain went missing after his autopsy, and brother Robert Kennedy is suspected of the theft!

Supposedly the remains of his brains was encapsulated in a stainless steel container, and stored with other ‘memorabilia’ in a storage trunk at the Smithsonian Institute as ‘historical artifacts.”

It lay undisturbed for decades until Caroline Kennedy discovered ‘the theft’ when she was preparing a list of Kennedy items to be sold on Ebay prior to getting divorced and relocating to Japan as Obama’s “Goodwill” ‘brain dead’ ambassador of mediocrity.

Conspiracy theorists now posit that the brain was spirited out of it’s stronghold by Bobby Kennedy, afraid that later medical review would find that the former President had self medicated with any number of drugs including ‘uppers’, (an early form of Viagra), which may explain his penchant for having “needing a different piece of A$$ everyday to alleviate migraines’ according to a close personal friend of John’s who acted as a ‘towel boy at mid afternoon pool parties where the President entertained multiple sex partners.” (The first “Bunga-Bunga/Bugger-Bugger White House events?)

Despite a search for the ‘holy grail of Sex Addiction” by Bill Clinton who launched a nation wide search for the purloined brain in order to validate his own indiscretions, to date the iconic mass is still listed as ‘missing in action.”

Since assuming office President Obama has had the Presidential pool filled and turned into a basketball court confirming reports from his child hood dope smoking fiends in Hawaii that
“everyone knows he can’t swim, and won’t go to visit Alaska cuz it’s too F******g cold!”

Obama, who is shielded from one on one contacts by his surrogate keeper, Valerie Jarrett,
in order to keep his aura of invincibility as a ‘clean, articulate, African-American’ according to VP Joe Biden, has recently shown his ass to American’s by his orchestrated attack on patriotic Americans during his personally induced shut down of government. Obama is now predicted by SW to be hurtling down a one way hi speed track to a train wreck.

A concerned Jarrett has been seen hastily conferring with medical experts and is said to have scheduled an appointment with world renowned rectal-cranial specialist Dr. Victor Nicholas, of Canada.

Questioned about the President’s mental health Valerie said she’s not worried, “After all, Dr. Nicholas is a Proctologist, and a F******g BRAIN SURGEON! I know he’ll get to the bottom of the problem with the proper probing.”

More on the Big Arse Mess after Obama’s brain scan comes up empty.



2 Responses to “DC Brain Drain: JFK’s Brain Gone Missing! Proctologist Enlisted to Find Obama’s!”

  1. captain america

    Oct 21st, 2013

    ……I ain’t got no boooody….!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 21st, 2013

    All the Obama administration’s regulatory assholes need to get out of American’s lives.

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