Nigerian ‘ObamaScare’ Website Up and Running: Enrolls 2 M Low Info Voters in 15 Minutes!

by on 29/10/13 at 6:04 am

Nigerian businessman Amon Sebelius says business has never been better since he started his own Obamacare.com website. " Sure beats sending out millions of stupid emails! Now, fools email me with all their private info!"

Nigerian busimnessman Amon Sebelius says business has never been better since he started his own Obamacare.com website. ” Sure beats sending out millions of stupid emails! Now, fools email me with all their private info!”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com)

White House officials retreated under their desks late today, and a Presser on the latest update on the Obamacare website was cancelled after it was revealed Nigeria has enrolled more US citizens in 15 minutes than Sebelius has in almost 4 weeks in the continuing Obama Train Wreck!

Satire World reporter P. M. Worthington, embedded in Nigeria said his sources told him the Nigerian Government spent just $35,000 setting up their web site with the help of ‘a handful’ of current Nigerian scammers serving time for internet fraud who ‘volunteered’ their time.

According to our source the set up required working round the clock for a weekend, was fully tested on Monday, and went into action today, Tuesday.

Thanks to Nigeria, frustrated US citizens are redirected to the African site after just a brief 20 minute wait trying to log on to Obamacare, and begin to chat with a friendly native ‘navigator’ with soft sounds of the ocean in the background and romantic jungle drums beating rhythmically designed to lull the applicant into a false sense of security.

So far the website has received 5* reviews from frustrated enrollees from the US clustered in California, Washington State, the District of Columbia, Connecticut, Chicago, and Denver.

“I just love my new health care plan! $32.50 a month, no deductible, and 2% cash back! What a deal, and the fact I paid 3 years in advance on my Sacks Fifth Avenue Visa made it soooooo simple”
(Muffy P. Skakal, Greenwich, Cn)

“Not only did my new plan include full dental, eye glasses and medical marijuana, it included a free week at a scenic time share condo overlooking the ocean and real pirates setting sail!
The best $5,000 investment I ever made for prepaid health care for life!”
(Harold Worth, Portsmouth, UK)

The artful website, full of glorious pictures of the African veld, gushing oil wells, blood diamonds also uses well known celebrities to hump for their health product.

There’s a close up of Joe Biden looking sincerely into the camera and whispering, “Don’t wait…this is a bigger F*****g deal than a reverse mortgage on your underwater home in Vegas!”

Rumours are starting to leak that the Nigerian plan was a last ditch effort on behalf of David Axelgrease (sic) and Valerie Jarrett to salvage a piece of the ObamaKare pie after they realized it was never going to work in America.

In a just released document from the Nigerian Hall of records, ‘NigerKare” is a Nigerian LLC registered in Chicago and a well shielded subsidiary of OFB (Organizing for Barry), the president’s personal tax free off shore shelter.

In addition to health care the site directs you to winning numbers for Nigerian Lottery tickets, women seeking men, work at home sites guaranteeing $1500 an hour, and home remedies for AIDS, Sleeping Sickness, Malaria, Polio, and the West Nile Virus.

Despite raking in over $10m in the first 8 hours, the Nigerian Internet Minister says the website hasn’t even neared it’s capacity said to be able to handle almost 40M unemployed and illegal aliens from the US while setting up an exchange in NYC for applicants to exchange their EBT and SNAP cards for healthcare and even receive ‘cash back!”



3 Responses to “Nigerian ‘ObamaScare’ Website Up and Running: Enrolls 2 M Low Info Voters in 15 Minutes!”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 29th, 2013

    Bravo, Bravo and Bravo!

  2. Bargis

    Oct 29th, 2013

    But, but what about that $120 million they promised me for giving them my bank account number for transfer?

  3. captain america

    Oct 29th, 2013

    ….check’s in the mail!

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