by captain america on 14/11/13 at 4:34 pm
New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
Former NY Congressman Anthony (Tony for short) Weiner is busy reinventing himself as he attempts to rehabilitate his sticky image as he plans an eventual political comeback.
The “New & Improved” Weiner is now coming out as a supporter for gun rights after having to step down from his congressional seat due to inappropriate handling of his personal defense weapon, waving his gun around in public, and firing off his weapon ‘at least 5 times a day’ in the privacy of his congressional office, according to one
victim who was confronted by a ‘one armed and dangerous Weiner.!”
A new close personal aide to Weiner said, “Anthony is encouraged that he’ll be back in some form of public office soon. Just look at the recent Mayoral election in NYC, if a White guy who changed his name to appear more ‘ethnic’ married to a ‘reformed’ afro-american lesbian, with a son who sports an Afro like Bobby Seale can win 70% of the vote, there’s got to be a place for him as soon as crime spikes again and folks want to return to ‘stop and frisk and ‘concealed carry ‘laws.
Weiner is starting to make the rounds of talk shows, and just last night appeared on Piers Morgan to tout his new gun stance against Morgan’s anti-gun rhetoric.
He told Morgan, pointing to his crotch, “If guys like you want to take my gun, you’re going to have to pry it out of my cold, dead right hand!”
Wife Huma was unavailable to comment on Anthony’s stance on ‘small arms legislation’ as she was traveling with Secretary of State John Kerry as his expert on Muslim Brotherhood affairs as he made the rounds in the middle east pissing off Israeli’s and Saudi’s on his appeasement missions.
Weiner got four ‘likes’ on his face book page: Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Alan Grayson,Sandra Fluke and Diane Feinstein admiring Weiner’s pledge to ‘carry concealed’ in the future in order to protect single females that had been as yet unable to sign up for Obamacare and were not currently covered for free dental dams and morning after pills.
Said presumptive Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton, “What a man does with his penis is not my concern. After all, at my age and gender and being married to Bill, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE NOW!