Progressives Dick-tate Mandate for new “Super Condom”; Put $ Where Their Mouth Is!

by on 22/11/13 at 7:30 am

Bill Gates tried one of the new condoms on for wife Melissa. He claimed they fit a little snugger around his hips unlike the liberal douchebags he usually wears.

Bill Gates tried one of the new graphene condoms on for wife Melissa. Afterwards he claimed they fit a little snugger around his hips unlike the liberal douchebags he usually wears.

Manchester (UK)- (

” Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and now Super Lubricated!” Graphene is now the Super Condom developed by progressives to ease the pain of ObamaCare, Global Warming, EPA mandates, Harry Reid’s Nuclear Option and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

President Obama awarded the Medal of Freedom to Melissa and Bill Gates, along with Al Gore,
Secretary ‘Kitty’ Sebelius and new product spokesmen (sic) Barney Frank and Chaz Bono for the revolutionary new condom made possible by ‘the world’s thinnest, strongest material in the world’: Graphene.

The product was developed in the UK, Manchester to be exact (no surprise there, eh?) and has been used in smart phones and like kind products until President Obama issued an executive order to create a new placebo for US taxpayers after saying “I feel your pain’, after the introduction of Obamacare, often described as the “Soetoro Suppository” or “The Final Solution.”

Led by a $30M grant from the EU, contributions from the Gates Foundation, and a number of ‘pump and dump’ hedge funds headed by Al Gore, and endorsed by Health and Human Services head Sebelius, the new product has been added to coverage by Obamacare, marking the 149th addition to the mandate described by the President as “stated law.”

The endorsement has already created additional wealth to Democrat and RINO insiders who had advanced notification of the pending IPO with windfall profits to the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Lie-Low Graham, John McQuisling, Chuck Schumer and a vast Muslim Brotherhood family trust managed by Huma Weiner.

President Obama is said to have been one of the first to try out the new product during a ‘condom summit’ at Camp David where he tested the product on House Speaker John Boehner during a discussion on the looming debt ceiling.

According to a recorded account Obama is heard to tell Boehner, “Here, this won’t hurt…did it?”

No confirmation from eye witnesses that when Obama was done Boehner shed ‘tears of joy.”

Senator Ted Cruz described the new efforts on behalf of bailing out Obama, as ‘just another one of his lies leading to a big arse mess.”

Said Obama during a closed press conference with liberal journalists, “Just trust me…your subsidy check is in the mail!”

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