North Korea Files Human Rights Complaint to UN over US Abortions/Executions: Then Culls Basketball Team!

by on 25/12/13 at 5:45 am

Well, he IS from Chicago, right?

Well, he IS from Chicago, right?

Chicago, IL – (

President Obama’s Medal of Basketball Freedom recipient Dennis Rodman, left North Korea depressed after Kim Dung Ugh over ruled his picks for the National Team and sentenced them to death for shooting 1 fer 23 from the free throw line, matching Obama’s infamous record.

Rodman, the flamboyant former NBA star renowned for his rebounding, piercings, and cross dressing, has been reduced to shilling for GLAAD, and doing more globe trotting for the barbaric North Korean state than former President Jimmy Carter, known for his volunteer work to build more detention centers for the despot under his “Habitat for Inhumanity’ charitable construction work.

According to the North Korean government news agency, Kimchimsnbc, the Supreme Ruler was embarrassed watching the Korean’s going through try outs under Rodman’s watchful eye.

“They couldn’t jump, dribble, shoot, or run the floor despite being known as ‘the Running Dogs of North Korea University”, the state run school that went 1000-0 outscoring their opponents by 125 points a game, including 232 shut outs.

According to a spokesman for the Supreme Leader, the 12 finalists had their rice bowls smashed, all their relatives arrested, their scholarships revoked, Air Jordan’s confiscated, and promotional incentives from Nike terminated.

The spokesman went on to dismiss plans for a US-North Korea grudge match in the country, and instead turned it’s attention to the UK promising to field a soccer team that could “out wank’ Manchester United on the Korean Pitch.

David Beckham was unavailable to comment, or confirm that he was tapped to coach the Koreans in the proper form of getting a grip on themselves.*

Harold Worth in Manchester, UK, contributed to this dispatch. Photos to follow.

One Response to “North Korea Files Human Rights Complaint to UN over US Abortions/Executions: Then Culls Basketball Team!”

  1. captain america

    Dec 25th, 2013

    …as usual a brilliant photo @ caption from our editor while
    on medicinal drugs!!!!!

    hey…who’s that guy in the back court dribbling down his leg???

Leave a Reply